BooksBarbecue
Back When We Were Friends
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. 31
  6. 14
  7. 31
  8. 14
  9. 31
  10. 14
  11. 31
  12. 14
  13. 31
  14. 15
  15. 31
  16. 16
  17. 32
  18. 16
  19. 32
  20. 17
  21. 32
  22. 17
  23. 32
  24. 17
  25. 32
  26. 17
  27. 32
  28. 18
  29. 32
  30. 18
  31. 32
  32. 18
  33. 32
  34. 18
  35. 32
  36. 18
  37. 32
  38. 18
  39. 32
  40. 18
  41. 32
  42. 18
  43. 32
  44. 18
  45. 32
  46. 32
  47. 33
  48. 33
  49. 33
  50. Acknowledgments
  51. Discussion Questions
  52. Booklist

“Now you’re talking. Those are reasons to get married...not fucking weird patriarchal Disney princess hangover shit.”

When my feet had been salvaged from their leather thong wreckage, I came back to sit with Ben again. We’d planned a night in, watching the one film on Netflix we currently both wanted to watch, and had been saving for this rare event when he wasn’t totally shattered. I felt we both needed this night to clear the weird between us.

“Any preferences on Deliveroo?” I asked, having to push him to make space on the sofa.

“The noodle place.” He didn’t look up from his screen, and, as I watched him play, I realized he’d spent a lot of time making his football avatar look exactly like himself. “Oh, Jessica was around earlier,” he said, face still on the screen, his hand jabbing buttons.

“What?”

“Yeah, she popped around. I think she was upset. Said she couldn’t get through to you?”

“I left my charger at home all day. Did she stay?” I was more upright on the sofa, trying to push down the odd sensation I felt that the two of them were alone in my house without me. She’d only been moved in for two weeks and I was still acclimatizing.

“Maybe an hour?”

An hour!?

“Did you have pants on?”

Ben laughed. “Of course. No top on though. I hope I didn’t scare her.” I looked down at Ben’s chest. His gorgeous bare chest, with the line of chest hair that split him in two like a banana pudding. The chest hair only I got to see, and touch. Jessica had seen it. My Ben’s chest... God, why was I being so crazy?

“I’ll go plug my phone in now.”

Ben had already picked up his console again. “Yeah, cool. She kept saying she was fine, but she wasn’t. She seemed a bit better after we’d had a cup of tea and a chat.”

I resisted the urge to ask what they’d chatted about and went to charge the phone in our bedroom, making the bed while I waited for it to turn on.

Jessica: Hey, are you around? Mind if I drop by?

Hey, Bridget at an after-school club and I’m around the corner, going to come say hi, hope that’s OK

Ben was very nice! Sorry for just gate-crashing like that. Ring me when you see this? I think your phone must be dead.

She answered on the first ring. A croak of a voice.

“Jessica?”

“Fern.” She said my name and then the sobs hurtled down the phone, and she couldn’t speak anymore. Jessica crying. Jessica never cried.

“I’m coming straight over.”

17

august 2003