BooksBarbecue
Back When We Were Friends
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. 31
  6. 14
  7. 31
  8. 14
  9. 31
  10. 14
  11. 31
  12. 14
  13. 31
  14. 15
  15. 31
  16. 16
  17. 32
  18. 16
  19. 32
  20. 17
  21. 32
  22. 17
  23. 32
  24. 17
  25. 32
  26. 17
  27. 32
  28. 18
  29. 32
  30. 18
  31. 32
  32. 18
  33. 32
  34. 18
  35. 32
  36. 18
  37. 32
  38. 18
  39. 32
  40. 18
  41. 32
  42. 18
  43. 32
  44. 18
  45. 32
  46. 32
  47. 33
  48. 33
  49. 33
  50. Acknowledgments
  51. Discussion Questions
  52. Booklist

“How can I not think that? Oh my God, Jessica! I’m such an idiot.” I started cry-laughing. “Kim and Amy were right about you. All those years ago, when you bloody got with Matt. They told me not to trust you, and they were right.”

Tears started leaking down Jessica’s face. Surprising me. Making me angrier. How dare she cry?

“Matt?” She took a step backward into the undergrowth.

“You knew how much Kim liked him, and you got with him right away.”

She started to protest, but I raised my hand to stop her. “And you knew how much Jade liked Mike, but in you went. And you knew how much I liked George on that trip to Greece.”

“What the fuck...who?”

“YOU KNOW WHO.”

“Fern!”

“No! And then Liam. LIAM. You had to go fuck Liam, didn’t you? And I forgave you. Kept forgiving you, and then Danny...”

Jessica’s fists clenched. She dared to look angry back. “I don’t have to listen to this,” she said. “I came here to explain.”

“The truth hurts, does it?” I yelled at her back as she turned to duck out of our little hidden patch of undergrowth.

She stopped and twisted her neck around. The hatred on her face was everywhere, like well-applied foundation. I’d never seen someone hate me so much. How could she be the one mad at me? Not when Ben... Ben... I still couldn’t believe Ben. Oh God, my heart.

“Yes, Fern,” she wiped a tear away. “It really does. I can’t believe...you said...” She made a guttural yell and threw her arms to the air, scattering birds before facing me again, her voice thick with emotion. “Like, those boys. Basically all of them took advantage of me! Of how drunk I was, or vulnerable. Like Matt... Fern, I could hardly stand that night. I thought you understood that? And for that guy George, I only kissed him. That was forever ago. I’d forgotten he even existed. I wish I could say the same for Mike, who pressured me to do these fucked-up things, spread rumors about me, and called me ‘Slutty Jessica,’ to my face, and I had to laugh. Laugh. And Liam? Fern, you never told me you liked him and, holy fuck, did you dodge a bullet. You know what he made me do at Reading. Brown wings...” she hack-laughed and sniffed. “He held me down and made me do it, but what could I do? He was my boyfriend and he was in a band and nobody would believe me anyway because I was, as you say, such a fucking slut.” More tears fell as my heart slowed down, no idea what to make of any of this. “I thought you understood, Fern,” she said, staring right at me. “We’ve talked so much about things since. Maybe you didn’t understand so much then, but at least now...”

18

december 2004