“I know. And I should’ve trusted you but... I’m...” God, this hurt. All this telling. I thought of the ring he’d hidden somewhere in this room, and wondered if he’d ever give it to me now he knew who I was. I’d told him I’d understand if he didn’t, though it had broken my heart to say it. And it had broken it even more when he didn’t rush to reassure me he would. “It’s just...so much happened between her and me. And I’ve tried to make myself forget it all. But, when she came back, it all rushed in and was so overwhelming, and I should’ve told you about our past. I know I should’ve. But I was...ashamed.”

“Ashamed of what?”

I looked up at this man who had been planning to propose to me. If I loved him as much as I claimed to, it was better to tell him, better to show him who I really was. “Look, it’s hard having a friend like Jessica. Being close to someone that beautiful, who is so good at getting on with men. You never want to admit out loud that you’re the ugly awkward friend.”

“But, Fern, you’re gorgeous.”

“Not next to Jessica, I wasn’t. I was invisible. She got chosen over me again and again, and it made me ashamed and bitter and...cruel. Ben, I’ve been awful to her.”

“You haven—”

“I have. I... I...” Jessica’s words and revelations haunted me in whispers. The things that were done to her. The things I was sick enough to be jealous of. Maybe my invisibility has been more of a blessing than a curse? “I...didn’t protect her. I was so convinced I was the victim that it never occurred to me she was a victim too. I’ve let her down so badly...” I started crying again. “You must hate me. You must think I’m the worst person ever.”

Ben, exhausted, pulled me into him and let me cry into his shoulder. He hushed me and patted me and, most importantly, didn’t leave me. Didn’t call me a psycho. He laced my fingers with his and I let out a deep sigh from my lungs, at this act of forgiveness and repair. “You can trust me, you know that, right?” he said, forcing me to look at him. “I know you’re not feeling great about yourself right now, but I still love you, Fern. All of you.”

“You do?”

“Yes. But you’ve got to trust me.”

“I do.”

“Really, seriously, you have to trust me.”