The cheese pumped through the Union speakers. Arms flew into the air. Drinks spilled onto people who didn’t say sorry afterward. Shoes stuck to the floor. Students piled into the bar, waiting to be served. Couples groped in the darkness. It was the same Saturday night at the Union it always was. My new friends’ arms around my shoulders, jumping up and down, making me sing along. The way you couldn’t do the Macarena without feeling a little bit dead inside. Bumping into people from your course and chatting, only to ignore each other on Monday. All the same, apart from my best friend in the world was kissing the boy I lost my virginity to in the corner. The boy I’d told her only hours ago that I really liked. I’d finally reached my limit. I was done.

“Are you sure you’re OK?” Heather asked, for the millionth time, her breath made totally of vodka.

I nodded and gave a giant grin. “Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

She yelled into my ear. “Well, I know you and Danny had that night...”

“It was nothing. Just a one-night stand.”

“Still though... Are you not at least a bit pissed off that she’s supposed to be catching up with you?”

I tipped my head back to finish my drink. “Nah. This is just what Jessica does.”

I was drunk almost to the point of numb. A weird calm around me, as I realized the inevitability of this. It hurt. Oh, by God, it hurt so much. But I felt almost...free to be cruel now. A coldness in my blood. A relief almost, that I wouldn’t have to have Jessica in my life anymore. Wouldn’t have to defend her. To others, to myself. To always be the ugly one next to her. To always be eclipsed by her.

She’d been kissing Danny basically since they arrived. She honestly acted like nothing had ever happened from the second he started chatting her up in Vodka Rev. I watched her turn her seduction switch up to eleven, watched her challenge Danny to do a tray of shots each, almost too shocked to do anything but watch. Watched their heads get closer together. Watched their hands brush each other in the queue to get into the Union. Watched her stumble on the way to the bar and have him collect her up, laughing, and hold her to him. And then watched them find a quiet corner and gyrate against the wall together, him practically holding her up with his body. I looked over and saw they’d vanished. She’d be going back to his room, being better at sex with him than I had been. With my inexperience and shit self-confidence that I had from all those years being rejected, because I was stupid enough to be friends with her.