BooksBarbecue
Back When We Were Friends
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. 31
  6. 14
  7. 31
  8. 14
  9. 31
  10. 14
  11. 31
  12. 14
  13. 31
  14. 15
  15. 31
  16. 16
  17. 32
  18. 16
  19. 32
  20. 17
  21. 32
  22. 17
  23. 32
  24. 17
  25. 32
  26. 17
  27. 32
  28. 18
  29. 32
  30. 18
  31. 32
  32. 18
  33. 32
  34. 18
  35. 32
  36. 18
  37. 32
  38. 18
  39. 32
  40. 18
  41. 32
  42. 18
  43. 32
  44. 18
  45. 32
  46. 32
  47. 33
  48. 33
  49. 33
  50. Acknowledgments
  51. Discussion Questions
  52. Booklist

I inhaled sharply at the last two messages, the sheer brutal honesty of them. I’d always been grateful Jade and I had stayed in touch. She was the sole surviving link between me and sixth form, and I was hers. Sally had married young, similar to Jessica, and had four children and moved to Cornwall. She now mostly posted lots of mad conspiracy shit on her profiles. Whereas Jade had gone to uni like me, and also like me, her parents had left the area. She currently lived in Edinburgh with her long-term girlfriend, Maggy, after coming out to me as bi over the about-twice-yearly catch-up drinks we tried to fit in whenever one of us was nearby.

Fern: Sorry

Didn’t mean to upset you

I’m still quite surprised by it all really

I tapped my hands on the desk as I waited for her reply, drumming a beat on my unread Ethical Framework. Trying to slot Jade into the memories I’d been dancing through since Jessica returned. Though we met at college, we never really talked much about college, which didn’t seem strange until now. Jade worked for a homelessness charity, so we spent lots of time chatting about our work, sharing ideas, occasionally attending the same conferences.

Jade: Sorry too.

Don’t mean to be weird.

It’s just...do you ever think back on those days and just feel really...angry?

“I...” I said out loud, as if she’d asked me in person. “I guess...”

I’d mostly been reliving why I’d been so angry at Jessica for so long, and what she’d done, and hadn’t thought much about the rest of it. But, with Jade’s prompt, a thousand more memories arrived, pre-packaged in my mind, discarding their bows as if they were in Fantasia, and started dancing behind my eyes.

Georgina’s party...

Jade: Like, I’ve never told you this but, I actually had to go to therapy about it all.

I was telling Maggy about it, and she was the one who pointed out how...fucked it all was.

Fern: Oh my God, you never said. I’m so sorry!

Jade: It’s fine.

Like, I’m fine. I just...

Whoa, Jessica. Headfuck.

Fern: Are you mad at her or something?

Jade: No.

The girls I’m fine with.

But the boys?

Don’t you remember, Fern?

It was fucked.