Back When the World Was Ours
Chapters (79)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
  4. CONTENT WARNING
  5. 1936
  6. LEO
  7. ELSA
  8. MAX
  9. LEO
  10. ELSA
  11. MAX
  12. 1937
  13. ELSA
  14. MAX
  15. LEO
  16. EARLY 1938
  17. ELSA
  18. MAX
  19. LEO
  20. MAX
  21. LEO
  22. MAX
  23. LATE 1938
  24. ELSA
  25. MAX
  26. LEO
  27. ELSA
  28. MAX
  29. LEO
  30. 1939
  31. ELSA
  32. LEO
  33. MAX
  34. LEO
  35. ELSA
  36. LEO
  37. ELSA
  38. LEO
  39. ELSA
  40. LEO
  41. 1940
  42. MAX
  43. ELSA
  44. LEO
  45. 1941
  46. ELSA
  47. LEO
  48. ELSA
  49. MAX
  50. ELSA
  51. 1942
  52. MAX
  53. LEO
  54. ELSA
  55. 1943
  56. LEO
  57. MAX
  58. ELSA
  59. MAX
  60. ELSA
  61. 1944
  62. LEO
  63. ELSA
  64. MAX
  65. ELSA
  66. MAX
  67. ELSA
  68. MAX
  69. ELSA
  70. MAX
  71. LEO
  72. PAPA
  73. 1945
  74. LEO
  75. 2021
  76. LEO
  77. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  78. A list of resources and further reading
  79. About the Author

Vati puts his hand on Mutti’s arm. He strokes her finger. ‘My darling,’ he says, his voice croaking as if it is filled with sawdust, ‘we must give him your ring.’

Mutti makes a sobbing sound that comes out as though she is choking. ‘My wedding ring? It is not enough that these Nazis have taken our home, our possessions, our lives, our dignity? They must have the symbol of our love as well?’

‘I will buy you another one, I promise you. When this is all over, I will put a band of gold around your finger and it will stay there for ever, with my love.’

Mutti doesn’t say anything. But eventually, she nods and silently begins to tug the ring from her finger.

At that moment, one of the SS guards pulls a man out of the line, seemingly for no reason, and drags him to a shed behind the tables. We hear the sounds of a scuffle, the man crying out.

I clap my hand over my mouth. The salty taste of bile is in my throat and I don’t know if I can stop myself from being sick. Each time I think they have treated us as horribly as they can, somehow the guards manage to do something even worse.

For a moment I am grateful that we have barely eaten in days. At least I have nothing to bring up.

A few moments later, the man is dragged out of the shed. His left eye is closed and already swelling. He’s limping. He has blood dripping from his forehead.

‘This is what happens if you try to hide anything!’ the officer shouts to us as he lets go of the man. He stumbles back into the crowd.

My mouth is as dry as the gravelly path under our feet. What if I have something in my bag that I don’t realize is valuable? What if I forget it or miss it and they take me to the shed and—

‘Come on children, hurry,’ Vati says, breaking into my terrified thoughts. ‘Just look through your things and check there is nothing they might want.’

I scrabble through my bag. There is nothing in here. Nothing of any value. At least not to the SS men anyway. My hand grazes the thing of most value to me, besides the people I am with: the photograph of me, Leo and Max. The memory of that day still shines a light inside me and I cannot bear to give it away. To anyone else, it is a fading photograph, a torn scrap of paper. The Nazis would not want this. But I also can’t risk them finding something so precious to me.

I fold it into a cardigan to keep it hidden as I finish rifling through my clothes. ‘Nothing,’ I say.