Chapters (79)
- Cover
- Dedication
- A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
- CONTENT WARNING
- 1936
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- 1937
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- EARLY 1938
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- MAX
- LEO
- MAX
- LATE 1938
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- 1939
- ELSA
- LEO
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- 1940
- MAX
- ELSA
- LEO
- 1941
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- 1942
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- 1943
- LEO
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- 1944
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- PAPA
- 1945
- LEO
- 2021
- LEO
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- A list of resources and further reading
- About the Author
One of the men unlocks the gate and stands beside it. He thrusts his right arm forward and shouts, ‘Heil Hitler!’ to the guard beside me.
‘Heil Hitler!’ the guard replies.
Then he turns to the rest of us and indicates for us to go inside.
‘Home, sweet home,’ he says as we file past. ‘Welcome to Auschwitz.’
We move, wordless and numb, through the gate.
They call me forward and hold my head as they run a rough razor over my scalp. I watch my hair fall to the ground in clumps of knotted red curls and I remember Greta telling me that my hair was her favourite thing. I can see her eyes twinkle as she throws back her head and laughs.
Like everyone else, Greta is part of a life that is no longer mine to claim.
I follow wordlessly as we file into the building, where they tell us to undress. We let them push and shove and order us through the showers. We don’t react as they dress us in shapeless gowns and burn numbers into our arms.
Afterwards, when I no longer have my family, my name, my hair or my clothes, I realize the final thing has been taken from me: my identity. I am no one.
Something inside me switches off and I know that the process of dying has begun.
1944
LEO
Annie and Mama were in the kitchen. I could hear them chatting and laughing and gossiping, non-stop. I’d been banished till they told me I could come in.
I played along that I minded. ‘You see more of my mother than you see of me!’ I’d teased Annie when she arrived and hugged Mama before even kissing me hello. But she knew that making Mama happy was the only thing that gave me as much pleasure as making Annie herself happy.
Still. It had been an hour and I was getting bored now.
I knocked on the kitchen door. ‘Can I come in yet?’
‘Two more minutes!’ Annie replied.
I stood in the hall and counted the seconds. Finally the door opened and Annie beckoned me in with a smile that she saved only for me.
That smile made my heart flutter and meant that she could banish me for another hour if she wanted to, as long as the waiting would end with another smile like that.
‘Come on in,’ she said and I followed her inside.
Mama was at the sink, finishing the washing-up. She turned and wiped her hands on her apron. ‘Ready?’ she asked Annie.
Annie replied with a nod, and Mama opened the door of our tiny oven. ‘I’ll let you do the honours,’ she said, passing the oven gloves to Annie.
Annie put the gloves on and reached into the oven. And then she brought something out on a tray.
At first, I thought I must be seeing things.