i woke up

too many nights

having to fight

bad thoughts,

having to persuade

myself i’m not

out here on my own.

blessedness

what do you

feed your insides?

what kinda food?

karma recreates itself

make sure

it’s the truth.

speak with intention.

speak from a place

of tribute.

ground your feet

into the world

they gave us.

find your place, ’n

grow roots there.

watch your moods!

watch your moods!

watch

your moods!

these are

the tools to

wellness.

forgive me

right now i’m sitting here,

thinking to myself,

“which level are you on?”

might be too high.

might be too vulnerable.

i think, “are you vulnerable

enough to tell the truth?”

it’s true, the truth hurts.

the truth leaves you

scarred sometimes.

makes you it’s bitch.

keeps you scared

of sharing, so i’ll start here

for the person

i’ve been dreaming

of all my life:

i’ve been a bitch lately,

ain’t been true to you.

ain’t been fair to you.

haven’t been the one

that you chose.

—i’ve been through the mud,

’n i’ve been blaming you.

don’t share the pain

with no one else

keep you out the loop.

say i—got no real love.

say i got nothing good.

even when,

you’ve only ever been

good to me.

our calamity

is my fault.

i hold on to the very most.

i do the most, and for what?

nothing will ever be that serious.

i’m just

fighting demons who’re

fighting the healing.

too many demons

trying to heal around me.

too many evil eyes,

disguised

as love.

i’m ashamed—i ever put you second.

lotus

love is love is love is love

one day i’ll talk about

how you grew me up.

pulled me up.

showed me how

when the sun is up

we put prayers up.

we keep our spirits lifted

even when

the light starts shifting.

we praise the rain

just as often as the sunshine.

we hold each other—

we show spirit

we know love.

we show spirit

that all the hate formed

against our love

would never

and could never prosper.

we praise the most high

for a love like this.

we praise the most high

for every deep experience.

it takes a different kind of

strength to know the value over

your life. to never settle for less.

to trust that god will place you

in all the appropriate places,

when the timing is right.

wheel of fortune

my cup runs over

and over,

and over again.

you will not find me

half empty,

or half full.

my hard work

pays off

my mouth

never stays

parched for long.

i never ask for a thing,

i sit patient.

don’t do

the hard work

for a pay out

i just stay

out the way

and trust mine.

Grandma Theresa

my abuelita said “como estas?”

she said, how

come i never

hear from you

anymore?

she goes, tell

everyone don’t

cry for me

when i’m gone,

because no one

came to visit

while i was

still here. she