“Simone!” I say, shocked. I can’t believe she’s talking about sleeping with James in front of the cameras.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says quietly. “It’s in the school paper—he already dumped me. Who cares if my parents find out?”

“I’m so sorry,” I say, looking at her tear-stained face and starting to get upset all over again.

“Guys are such dicks,” Grant says, spearing a piece of chicken out of the Chinese food carton and popping it into his mouth. We stare at him. “What?” he says. “They are. Honey, I could tell you story upon story, couldn’t I, Ally? Like that one substitute teacher who gave me head and then totally denied it the next day? It’s such bullshit.” He stabs another piece of chicken forcefully.

“Uh, I’m sorry. Simone, have you met Grant?”

“I don’t think so,” she says, staring at him. Grant’s wearing a salmon-colored button-up shirt and a pair of black dress pants. He’s wearing shiny black shoes and is eating our Chinese food.

“Nice to meet you,” Grant says, holding his hand out. Simone accepts it uncertainly. “Sorry about the grease,” he says, pulling his hand back and grabbing a napkin. “Chicken and broccoli.” He holds up the carton in explanation.

We ignore him. “How could I have been so stupid?” I ask, plopping back down in one of the stools on the breakfast bar.

“You’re not stupid,” Simone says, looking at her hands.

“I’m the one who’s a joke. I saved my virginity for eighteen years, and then in a matter of six weeks . . .” she trails off. I reach over and squeeze her hand.

“You got any more of this?” Grant asks, brandishing the empty carton. We look at him, disbelieving. “What?” he asks, heading back to the fridge.

NOW

This is going to sound kind of ridiculous, and it’s horrible to even admit, but I think I was more upset by the fact that Drew might read I had a secret crush on him than I was about Kelly’s betrayal. I didn’t realize it at the time, but Kelly hadn’t really taken away anything I would miss. Yeah, she let me borrow her clothes and gave me someone to hang with outside of the house, but that was about it. She couldn’t understand the things I was going through the way Jasmine and Simone could, and she certainly didn’t know about the problems I was having with Corey.

But I hated the fact that she could see the feelings I had for Drew. It was humiliating to think that something I was trying so hard to deny to myself was so transparent to someone else. So at the time, I convinced myself that it wasn’t about Drew, it was about Kelly. And the more I told myself this, the easier it was to believe.

THEN