They look at each other skeptically over the table. I’m losing them. “Look,” I say. “I really want to do this. I promise I’m not going to do anything horrible. I won’t expose any of your secrets, I won’t get naked and dance on some bar.” My mom looks shocked at that last statement, like the thought never crossed her mind, but my dad just nods.

“Also,” I rush on, realizing it may not have been the best idea to put scenes from Girls Gone Wild into my mom’s head, “you’ll be able to get the housing fee back. Since I won’t be living in the dorms anymore.”

“Ally!” my mom says, shocked. “We would never sell you out for money!”

Did my mom just say “sell you out”?

“I even have the number for the producer,” I say, in a flash of brilliance. “His name is Mike! You can call him directly. I’m sure he’d be happy to answer any questions you might have.”

My mom nods. “Okay,” she says. “Get me the number.”

What? Get her the number? I wasn’t serious. I mean, I do have the number, yeah, but not for her to call. It was just to show that I’d be willing for her to do it. Kind of like when you offer to let your boyfriend check your emails to prove you’re not cybercheating on him. You don’t actually expect or want him to do it. Having your mom call the producer of a reality TV show is the equivalent of having her call your elementary school to tell on someone who’s teasing you.

“Get you the number?” I echo weakly.

“Yes,” my mom says. “I’d feel better if I could talk to this Mike person. I have a few questions.”

My dad nods and drops his spoon into the empty icecream bowl, then leans back in his chair, looking satisfied.

“Like what?” I ask her.

“I’d just like to talk to him,” she says, taking a sip of her coffee calmly. “It would make me feel more comfortable.”

“Fine,” I say. I pull the paper Mike gave me out of my purse and hand it over.

She slips it into her pocket. “We’ll think about it,” she says calmly.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I say, throwing my arms around her. I run upstairs to call Grant.

NOW

Later I would find out that I was a late addition to the cast, that they already had a girl all picked out who’d backed out at the last moment. The other cast members had gone through extensive and multiple interviews, but by the time they got to the Syracuse casting call, they were getting desperate.