When they got inside it was freezing, and once again Abs wished he was back home in his lovely flat, with its central heating and silky bedsheets, changed twice a week by a woman who came in to clean. Jez fiddled with the boiler, which made a lot of noise but didn’t generate much heat.

The first thing Deano did was turn on the porch lights, to illuminate a garden bench and a muddy clearing. ‘Let there be light.’

Then he started raiding the fridge-freezer, taking out vodka and mixers and bottles of beer, and banging them on the counter. He switched the radio on, playing club classic remixes, and turned it up loud.

Abs couldn’t hear himself think and turned it off. ‘We need to get the girl home, yeah?’

But Rhiannon grabbed the bottle of vodka and swigged. ‘You’re joking, we haven’t partied yet.’

Deano put the music back on and turned up the volume, then threw open a cupboard. ‘Everyone grab a glass.’

‘I’m hitting the sack,’ said Tony with a yawn, and he headed towards his bedroom.

And with one concerned look in the direction of the girl, Jez agreed. ‘Me, too.’

Abs knew his mate didn’t want her there any more than he did, and tried to reason with Deano. ‘It’s late, mate, everyone just wants to get to sleep.’

‘You’re lightweights,’ said the girl resentfully. ‘I thought you Essex lads liked to party.’

‘I know when I’ve had enough, sweetheart,’ said Abs.

‘Forget those boring wankers,’ said Deano in disgust, and he started doing dance moves in front of her, a bottle of beer swinging in his fist. ‘I’ll party hard with ya.’

But Rhiannon looked over his shoulder, fixing her big eyes once again on Abs. ‘It’s not going to be fun if he ain’t here,’ she said with a pout.

‘I know my limits, yeah?’ Abs was conscious of the noise they were making in the kitchen – the bedrooms were all off the main room – and turned off the music. ‘Let’s go outside.’

So Rhiannon and Deano slammed out of the door and onto the porch and Abs followed them out just in time to see the big man fall off the bottom step and onto the soft earth. Deano was so pissed he probably didn’t even feel it. He lay there, staring up at the night sky, laughing his head off. ‘Someone moved the steps.’

The girl sidled up to Abs and took his hand, pressing her warm body against his.

‘Come on, Abs,’ she said, and her face lifted to his. ‘How about you and me have some fun? I’ve come all this way now, I’m not going to be able to get home. Have one more drink with me.’