‘Here’s my best boy!’ Kelsey walked in and came over in a cloud of perfume. ‘Come here, doll.’

They held each other in a clinch, while everyone waited in respectful silence. When they had finished, Abs stepped back to get a good look at her – she looked mighty fine, as per usual. But he didn’t recognize the whippet-thin young guy standing behind her, looking bored.

‘Abs, this is Jay Swift,’ said Kelz, remembering the guy was there. ‘Swifty is my new boyfriend on the show.’

Abs eyed Swifty, who looked barely older than a sixth-former. He wore a massive quiff with a thin moustache, a garish orange puffa jacket and a pair of elaborate trainers; the left and right feet were completely different colours. Abs glanced down at his own footwear, his trademark white, and wondered for the first time whether he was out of sync with the latest trends. Swifty didn’t look much impressed with Abs and mostly stared at his phone, and Abs was filled with a cold dread that Swifty didn’t even know who he was.

‘So what’s the set-up for the scene?’ He turned to the director, determined to make the most of his comeback, and win back Kelsey. ‘If you want my advice, I think it should just be between me and Kelz.’

The director’s eyes dropped to the floor as he considered how to respond, but then Kelsey stepped forward. ‘I tell you what, Marcus, why don’t I take Abs through it?’

‘Sure.’ The director looked like he couldn’t get behind the camera quick enough, making Abs feel anxious.

‘The scene is this, yeah,’ said Kelsey, ‘Swifty is my new boyfriend on the show—’

‘Bit young, ain’t he?’

‘But then we bump into you here.’

‘Yeah,’ said Abs. ‘Got it.’

He saw what they wanted to do now. Kelsey was seeing this Swifty guy but then she saw Abs and her love for him was immediately reignited. It was obvious that she still wasn’t over him. She remembered the good times they had together, and it was obvious that she still held a torch. The love between him and Kelz was undeniable: red hot, molten. She had to make a choice between Swifty and Abs, the love of her life.

It was no contest.

‘We meet and poor old Swifty realizes we’re still in love, me and you, and then we get back together.’ Abs clapped his hands, looking forward to filming the scene. ‘It’s perfect, it’s a good way to ease me back on the show. I don’t need to know any more about the scene, let’s just start shooting.’ He pumped his fist. ‘Yeah!’

Kelsey gave him a strange look and led him to the back of the restaurant, near the toilets. The feel of her long blue nails on his arm was electric. ‘Thing is, Abs, that’s not how it’s going to go.’