The village lads were going, “Ooooooo! Naughty bumberskite.”

Charlie appeared from out of the crowd and stood in front of Cain with his arms folded and said, “Leave it out, mate.”

Cain said, “Or what, big boy?”

Seth and Ruben came over and joined Cain. Then Phil, Ben, and a couple of Woolfe boys joined Charlie. Jack was standing with Vaisey and he said, “Cain, leave it, mate.”

Cain said softly, “Careful, posh lads, you don’t want to get into any trouble with your mummies and daddies.”

Phil said, “Er, I think you’ll find that we’re at Woolfe Academy because we are in trouble with our mummies and daddies.”

Jo shouted, “Yeah, you lot, he tunneled out of his last school AND he destroyed a rugby pitch.”

I said, “OK, Jo, I think that’s enough of . . .”

But Jo had really got into her stride now. “They had to put a ball and chain on him to keep him at school.”

Vaisey said reasonably, “Well, it was a rubber one but . . .”

Flossie said, “You’re all talk and no action, you Hinchcliffs.”

Seth said, “Oh, now then, you’ve really hurt our feelings, hasn’t she, lads?” And the Hinchcliff brothers nodded.

Flossie had gone a bit red. Seth walked right up to her, eyeball to—well, fringe. And he said, “Look at this big lass. She’s not to be messed with, are you, luv? She needs to be treated wi’ respect.”

And he smacked Flossie on the bum.

Oh dear.

Ben pushed back his fringe and went and stood in between Flossie and Seth. He said, “Look, leave my girlfriend alone. Go outside, Florence, I’ll deal with this.”

We all looked at Ben in amazement. Including Flossie.

So did Seth. For about ten seconds.

Then he got hold of Ben by his jacket and lifted him up and put him on a bar stool. He turned back to Flossie. “As I was saying . . .” And he took Flossie’s glasses off and kissed her on the mouth.

Then he gave her glasses back.

There was a moment’s silence, then Flossie went ballistic. She smacked him on the bum and kicked him.

While they were scuffling, Charlie said directly to Cain, “Listen, mate. It’s just bad manners to harass girls who aren’t interested in you. What is it with you Hinchcliffs? You’ve got your pick—why choose someone who doesn’t like you? Tallulah said she doesn’t want anything to do with you. She said so . . .”

Ben had got off his stool and was wildly swinging at Seth, who was holding him off with one hand. Cain stopped laughing. He looked at Charlie and a hard, mean look came into his black eyes. Like coal shards gleaming.

He said slowly, “Doesn’t want owt to do wi’ me? Miss Tallulah doesn’t want owt to do wi’ me? You need to get your facts reight, MATE. Ask her about that time up on the moors, just me and her. She seemed to like me reight enough then.”