Charlie said, “You’re all naughty minxes. If it wasn’t for the pull of your knees, I might storm off.”

I said, “Oh, don’t be cross because, well, don’t be.”

Charlie stretched back. “OK then, I’ll give you a chance. But only because I like you.”

Gosh, he made me feel all melty. And he did his lovely curly half smile. I started making up a little rap song in my head about him, it went:

I’m a shrew

A shrew for you

I’m not in a funk

It’s just that you are such a hunk.

Oh blimey

You’re so finey

Pity you have a girl who’s tiny.

Rastafari

Aye.

He said, “You’re thinking, aren’t you? I can always tell when you’re thinking. So what are you thinking?”

I was thinking, Don’t mention the shrew thing. I said, “I was just thinking that some people can be, you know, tiny-ist.”

Charlie looked puzzled and amused at the same time. “Neither of us know what you’re talking about, do we?”

Then the band came back on and everyone went to the front of the hall. Charlie got up and said, “In a bit, crazy girl.” And headed off into the crowd.

Well, I think if it’s possible to change a quite good situation into a really useless one in one sentence, I have cornered the market.

Tiny-ist.

I had said tiny-ist.

Naughty bumberskite

I JOINED THE OTHERS on the dance floor.

Cain was pacing about onstage as the band played a backbeat. He came to the microphone and said quietly into it, “This one’s for someone who hasn’t bin that well. She knows who she is. You might all know who she is.”

And he deliberately looked across at the Bottomlys. Beverley was half smiling.

Cain said, “Yeah, it’s called ‘Do You Miss Me—It’s Not Mutual.’” And Seth and Ruben and Cain looked at each other and laughed. They are animals.

Vaisey shouted to me, “Jack said this one’s about Beverley Bottomly and Jack said to Cain don’t do it because she might kick off again.”

The Bottomlys were all huddling round Beverley.

I couldn’t see Charlie anywhere. So the Tree Sisters and me went and joined in the dancing circle.

Charlie came back and joined in, just opposite me. He smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. I soon forgot about the tiny-ist fiasco.

Vaisey did a spontaneous tribute dance when Jack did a drum solo. Then Jack stood up and bowed to her. Sweet. And when the band rocked into “Get Your Coat On, Girl, You’re Leaving,” Charlie and Phil leapt into the middle and started doing the twist.

Charlie shouted to me mid-twist, “Lullah, please, for me, for old times’ sake. Do the unusual dancing.”

The whole circle was chanting, “Lullah! Lullah!”

Oh no.

Oh yes.

I couldn’t help myself; the excitement got the better of me. And I started hiddly diddlying before I knew what I was up to. My legs carried me into the center of the ring and I did my bestiest Irish dancing.