Jo said, “What’s he doing? Has he got a death wish?”

Then Phil dropped down onto his haunches and started doing Cossack dancing.

Jo was clapping Phil on, shouting, “Woolfe, Woolfe!!!!”

What a hoot! I was having so much fun I had forgotten about the band. But then they stopped playing and left the stage. Cain nodded to the two girls he’d been talking to and they giggled and made their way backstage.

The blackhearted swine. I know what he’s up to.

Not that I care.

I could see Beverley had noticed what he was up to as well. And she was telling her sisters. There’s bound to be a fight sooner or later. Good. At least it won’t involve me.

I was so hot I staggered to a beanbag and flopped into it. I may never get out of it again. Ooooh, it was so nice to be in such a comfy big . . .

Charlie came and flopped down next to me. He said, “Cor.”

And I said, “I know.”

He smiled at me and lay back. He said, “This is the life. It’s like, well, it’s like . . .”

I said, “Sitting in a bag of beans?”

And he smiled back and said, “Exactly.”

He was about to say something else when Flossie came and crashed down next to us. I said, “Where’s Vaisey?”

And Flossie said, “Looking at Jack’s sticks, if you know what I mean.”

Ben came along, flopping his fringe, and stopped by Flossie. “Erm, would you like, would you like . . .”

And Flossie said, “Oh yes indeedy, I would like . . .” And she patted her beanbag.

Ben lowered himself down next to her. He seemed mesmerized by Flossie.

She looked over his shoulder and winked at me. Charlie saw the wink and he raised his eyebrows.

Then Seth came by, and as he did, Flossie pulled Ben towards her and kissed him.

Oh my God.

She was doing it. She was using Ben like a decoy duck. I mean decoy bat. She was doing her decoy bat tactics. I wondered if he was doing the bat tongue thing now.

Charlie said to me, “Ben’s fringe is bound to drop off.”

Seth had stopped and was looking down. Flossie stopped kissing Ben and looked up at Seth.

Ben didn’t look anywhere. He seemed to have gone into a coma. He had his eyes shut and he was in the same position as he had been when Flossie was kissing him. Seth laughed, pinched the bum of a girl who came over to him, and they went off together.

Flossie winked at me again and got up to go to the loo. Leaving Ben still sitting like a hypnotized floppy thing.

Charlie said, “Ah, is this some kind of girl plan?”

I said, “Noooooo.”

Charlie said, “Oh God, it is a girl plan. Flossie likes Seth and Ben is her twit in a beanbag.”

How did he know that?