Flossie put her hands on her hips and shouted in her Southern belle way, “Mr. Goddam Jack and Mr. Goddam Ben. Why, I do declare, you were hiding yourselves away behind that tree and you so goddam handsome and all!”

Where does she get all this stuff from?

Jo yelled from underneath Phil, “Group hug! Group hug!”

Flossie dived onto my back and I fell on top of Phil, and who knows what was happening above me. I couldn’t breathe because of Flossie and I couldn’t see anything. Ben’s voice said, “Hello, Flossie, like, really nice to see you. You know?”

I brushed Flossie’s hair out of my face and another voice said, “Aha, I see the woodland games have begun. Let us in!!!”

It was Charlie! I felt an uuumph as he dived on top of us. He shouted from above me, “Aha!!! We are back and this time . . . we . . . are NOT serious!!! Yeeha!!!”

After a couple of minutes of having all the breath in my body squeezed out of me, Jo shouted, “Get off—my head is popping!!”

We untangled and I tried to pull bits of hair out of my mouth. Flossie pulled me onto a log and yelled, “Log time!!!”

Charlie sat next to me and smiled. I smiled back but looked away quickly. I was almost shaking and felt my face going red. Phil pulled Jo onto his knee and said, “Come here, little Miss Dynamite Nutcase,” and started jogging her up and down like a little horsey. He was saying, “A joggity-joggity-jog.”

She said, “Phil, stop jogging me up and down, otherwise I will have to hurt you!”

“. . . a joggity-joggity-joggity . . .”

Jo started wrestling with Phil, which turned into snogging, and they fell off the log. Flossie went over to Ben who was staring at her, but I stayed still. So did Charlie.

So then I couldn’t get up because it would look like I’d noticed that I was sitting next to him. Charlie said to me, “It’s nice to see young people enjoy themselves, isn’t it, Lullah?”

Flossie had Ben pinned against a tree trunk and was making him try her glasses on. Charlie said, “He looks terrified but really pleased.”

I said, “That’s the kind of effect that Flossie has on people.”

Charlie said, “I’ve got snacks.” And he offered me a crisp.

Sitting next to him and chewing was making me so tense I could feel my legs twitching. Was I chewing too loudly?

I’ll do really gentle, quiet chewing. That’s it. Slight chew, no crunching, pause and . . .

At this rate it was going to take me a week to get through one cheese and onion crisp. I should say something normal to Charlie . . . about a show I’d seen or something. Yes. That’s the ticket. A show.

I haven’t seen any shows.

Jack and Vaisey were humming little tunes together, and now and again Jack would drum with sticks on a tree and Vaisey would nod along. It was quite a good rhythm. . . .