The Taming of the Tights
Contents ( 33)
- Dedication
- Contents
- Filling my tights again
- Lullah’s Lululuuuve List
- Return of the lunatic twins
- Snogs ahoy!
- The Blubberhouses Large Ladies Who Pole Dance for Fun Society
- Boy Ambush
- You don’t want to do any more winking back
- The fire escape of desire
- I’ve eaten snail shells
- Snogging and Jazzles
- The magic of puppetry
- Return of the beast in trousers
- See you there, cheeky miss
- My inner snogger
- Naughty bumberskite
- The church bells of doom
- Should I put nail varnish on my hoofs?
- The Dark Black Crow of Heckmondwhite
- He’s got the right amount of lip
- Praise the knees!
- Fir-cone earrings and knitted onesies
- The Taming of the Tights
- The Corker-Holding with Winter Socks scene
- Georgia’s Ace Gang Snogging Scale
- Tallulah’s glossary
- Back Ads
- About the Author
- Books by Louise Rennison
- Credits
- Copyright
- About the Publisher
Dedication
Dear eagle-eyed mates,
Some of you may remember that in A Midsummer Tights Dream I hilariously (in my opinion) mentioned that my mum and sister would not let me have the dead rabbit in Cain’s hand wave its paw bye-bye to Tallulah.
I said at the time (and I’m not wrong) that it is a tip-top comedy idea. But oh no—my so-called family said it would make me seem “childish”—which clearly I am not. Anyway, I hid this book from them so the crying rabbit is in, see chapter 1.
So ha ha ha ha for calling me childish.
Peace.
To my Family Tree and my Tree Sisters and Tree Brothers and to the various saps—I mean—saplings. Also to the naughty Skipton Flossies (Katie and Eve).
And of course to the Tree Doctors with their Tree pruning, Tree mulching, and their Tree hugging: Gillie, Lizzie, Tara, Elorine, Clare, Cassie (actually officially a sap), and Gillon xxxx
Contents
Dedication
Filling my tights again
Lullah’s Lululuuuve List
Return of the lunatic twins
Snogs ahoy!
The Blubberhouses Large Ladies Who Pole Dance for Fun Society
Boy Ambush
You don’t want to do any more winking back
The fire escape of desire
I’ve eaten snail shells
Snogging and Jazzles
The magic of puppetry
Return of the beast in trousers
See you there, cheeky miss
My inner snogger
Naughty bumberskite
The church bells of doom
Should I put nail varnish on my hoofs?
The Dark Black Crow of Heckmondwhite
He’s got the right amount of lip
Praise the knees!
Fir-cone earrings and knitted onesies
The Taming of the Tights
The Corker-Holding with Winter Socks scene
Georgia’s Ace Gang Snogging Scale
Tallulah’s glossary
Back Ads
About the Author
Books by Louise Rennison
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Filling my tights again
WOO-HOO! AND CHUG-A-LUG-A-DING-DONG. I’M on the train, the celebrity train of life, chugging back to Dother Hall, the Theater of Dreams. Once more getting ready to fill my Lurex tights! Chasing the golden slippers of success! Prepared to let my feet bleed if necessary. That is what Sidone Beaver, our principal, says we must do if we want to be stars in the thea-tah, dahlings!!! And I for one am willing to fill my tights as much as is humanly possible!!!!
Just call me Tallulah—Tallulah Casey, star of screen, stage, and TV.
Well, actually, that bit’s not entirely true—in that I’m not a star of the screen.
Or stage or TV.
But I am called Tallulah Casey and here I am back in Brontë country where Em Brontë—or was it Chazza Brontë?—anyway, one of them wrote the classic Withering Tights.
Who would have thought that I, a gangly Irish person who had never trod the boards before, would be back here for the autumn term at a Performing Arts College in the heart of the famous Dales of Yorkshire? I am guessing that I’m in Yorkshire because visibility is down to about a foot because of the rain. I think we’re stopping at Skipley station. I’ll get my case down and hop off.