Chapters (65)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Part One
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Part Two
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Part Three
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- About the Publisher
The blue hats and rubber gloves finally wrapped up the pink-hat baby and handed her to Ruth, who held the tiny bundle like it was light as a feather and breakable as glass. I’d never seen Ruth cry before, never thought I would. She was crying and smiling and holding the baby that I’d grown for her.
Exhausted, I turned my head and slept. When I opened my eyes, I saw Hal studying me. Like he was worried. Was he happy, too? Tomorrow would be a full day at the hospital with the baby, and then the next day was the transfer ceremony. He’d reminded me of his rigorously planned drill so many times: after one full day of recovery, his pastor, Jim, and their social worker, Carol, would arrive at ten o’clock the next morning to say a blessing and honor me, the birth mother. Then we’d sign the final papers on parental rights. I’d have a chance for a final goodbye, and at one o’clock, the new parents would leave the hospital with the baby. I’d stay one more day for observation and recovery. This was generous, Hal liked to mention, because it was more than what ordinary birth moms got under their standard health insurance.
I watched Hal and Ruth in their new family circle. He had his arm around her as he leaned down and looked at the baby. Ruth loosened the blankets and touched her legs, pulled one out and touched the toes. She wrapped her back up and bounced her. She put the baby on her shoulder, then quickly took her down again as if she couldn’t decide or didn’t know which way was better. She and Hal both stared at her. They smiled and kissed each other, and I wondered if that was what it had been like for my parents when I was born. I wondered if it could’ve been like that for me and Digger if we’d stayed together. Or how he might react if he could see this baby. I wished he could see her. He’d gone to Missouri, but he must have returned by now. His construction work was supposed to end in October.
After a few minutes, Hal gestured to Ruth and said it was time to go, and she frowned. He took the baby from her and set the pink bundle down next to my face, between me and the metal bars on the bed. He touched my shoulder and said, “She’s beautiful.”
I nodded. The baby opened her eyes and seemed to be looking right at me. She looked so pathetic and weak, like a tiny puppy.
Ruth cleared her throat, and Hal looked up. “Gotta go,” he said to me. “Get some rest, and we’ll be back tomorrow.”