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Back The Surrogate Save as PDF
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Part One
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-One
  26. Twenty-Two
  27. Twenty-Three
  28. Twenty-Four
  29. Twenty-Five
  30. Twenty-Six
  31. Twenty-Seven
  32. Twenty-Eight
  33. Twenty-Nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-One
  36. Thirty-Two
  37. Thirty-Three
  38. Part Two
  39. Thirty-Four
  40. Thirty-Five
  41. Thirty-Six
  42. Thirty-Seven
  43. Thirty-Eight
  44. Thirty-Nine
  45. Forty
  46. Forty-One
  47. Forty-Two
  48. Forty-Three
  49. Forty-Four
  50. Forty-Five
  51. Forty-Six
  52. Forty-Seven
  53. Forty-Eight
  54. Forty-Nine
  55. Fifty
  56. Fifty-One
  57. Part Three
  58. Fifty-Two
  59. Fifty-Three
  60. Fifty-Four
  61. Fifty-Five
  62. Fifty-Six
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. About the Publisher

“I want to see the room she was in. Now,” said Ruth, gathering her things. “Take us to the room.”

Twenty-Five

Cally

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2002

Early Morning

In the middle of the night, early Sunday morning, I woke to Nell crying. My brain was doing that thing where it made me think the noises I heard were just a part of my dream. I was dreaming of wolves howling. At first they were far away, but they got closer and closer, like they had surrounded the cabin and were screeching at us through the gaps in the logs. The crying got so loud, Digger and I both woke up, and I realized the howling wasn’t in my dream; it was inside the cabin. With us.

Before I knew who I was talking to, I sat up straight in bed and called out, “Okay, okay, you’re all right.”

“Make it stop!” Digger covered his ears with pillows.

I pulled off my covers and stepped out of bed to check the crate. Even in the dark, I could see Nell’s mouth was wide open. I reached down to pick her up, and her back was arched. She’d come out of her blankets. Her fists and legs were stretching and shaking, like she was desperate and outraged and scared. I held her up to my shoulder, my neck, and I felt her tears on my skin.

“There, there,” I said, bouncing. I was thinking that if Hal and Ruth had taken Nell home with them, they’d be the ones waking up in the middle of the night, not me and Digger.

“Feed her or something, goddammit,” said Digger.

I went to the rocking chair and crouched down on the old dusty cushion. I was wearing just my T-shirt and underpants. I held the wailing baby in one arm and raised up my T-shirt with the other. Her mouth was still open from screaming, so I just stuck it mid-scream onto my nipple. The crying stopped immediately.

“Thank God,” said Digger.

“Yeah,” I said, looking down at the baby. My bunched-up T-shirt blocked my view of her face, but I held her in place, her head and bottom in my two hands, my elbows on the armrests. I was afraid to move because she was quiet and I didn’t want to jinx it. So I sat still, and the tingling happened again in my chest, almost like a sexual rush. That warm surge from my shoulders to my nipples, and my breasts were full. Luckily, Nell really started suckling. She gobbled and slurped while she ate, making noises like a French bulldog, not taking time to breathe.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Aaaargggh mmmmphhh,” said Digger. “I was just starting to sleep again.”

“Well?”