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Back The Surrogate Save as PDF
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Part One
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-One
  26. Twenty-Two
  27. Twenty-Three
  28. Twenty-Four
  29. Twenty-Five
  30. Twenty-Six
  31. Twenty-Seven
  32. Twenty-Eight
  33. Twenty-Nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-One
  36. Thirty-Two
  37. Thirty-Three
  38. Part Two
  39. Thirty-Four
  40. Thirty-Five
  41. Thirty-Six
  42. Thirty-Seven
  43. Thirty-Eight
  44. Thirty-Nine
  45. Forty
  46. Forty-One
  47. Forty-Two
  48. Forty-Three
  49. Forty-Four
  50. Forty-Five
  51. Forty-Six
  52. Forty-Seven
  53. Forty-Eight
  54. Forty-Nine
  55. Fifty
  56. Fifty-One
  57. Part Three
  58. Fifty-Two
  59. Fifty-Three
  60. Fifty-Four
  61. Fifty-Five
  62. Fifty-Six
  63. Acknowledgments
  64. About the Author
  65. About the Publisher

When I crawled back into bed, Digger was asleep, but he had rolled over to face my side of the bed. His arms were folded like he was praying, but I knew he wasn’t. His left arm was on top, his watch facing up. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I could see like a cat. Almost too well. Would I be able to fall asleep? The watch read three-thirty.

He flinched and rolled back over, away from me. I pulled the covers up over my shoulders, positioning myself away from Digger and facing the crate on the floor. Nell breathed softly. I listened to each inhale.

I closed my eyes. The lumpy mattress poked at various parts of my body, and I shifted to try to fit in with the hills and valleys. The scratchy sheet tickled the back of my calves, my thighs, my arms. I wondered if the sheets were clean or if tiny bugs were biting me.

Suddenly thirsty, I pulled back the covers again and stood. Where was the water? I shuffled over to the kitchen area and sifted through the pantry. I opened a plastic jug of water and guzzled. I couldn’t swallow quickly enough. I took breaks between chugs and drank until I’d quenched my mega-thirst. I looked out the window. I needed to pee but didn’t want to walk all the way to the outhouse. I thought about the wolves in my dream. Were they really out there? They’d seemed so real.

I looked around for a bucket. Was there anything I could pee in? I banged around in the pots and pans but couldn’t find a pail. I stood still and waited to hear if I’d woken Nell or Digger. No, they’d slept through, so I thought about my choices. I knew I had to go outside to pee. I stepped into my boots but didn’t have time for pants.

I opened the door a crack and cold rushed in. I slipped outside as quickly as I could and closed the door behind me. I moved a few feet to the side, away from the entrance, spread my legs, and squatted. I pulled my undies to the side and peed. Yes! It felt so good; I didn’t mind the frozen air on my bare legs and arms.

After I was done, I washed off with a handful of snow and wiped my hands on my T-shirt.

When I grabbed the doorknob, it wouldn’t turn.

Twenty-Six

Ruth

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7, 2002

Morning