I was relieved on his arrival that he was so pleasing to look at, as well as charming, and yes, very kind. He stayed with my aunt and visited me each day for a week. I was excited to see him and we talked easily of our lives and families. He was not much taller than me and had soft hands that were always clean, and I allowed him to take mine in his as he promised he would treasure me.

I had always been afraid of larger men, looming over me; I would always be at their mercy. Men do not realise we spend our lives afraid of them, for at any moment they could turn on us and snap our necks. Once snared into marriage they can do what they will with us. They seem oblivious to their power and strength, that even the strongest will of a woman cannot match in size and muscle.

He did not drink, which I was much relieved to learn. He told me his father had drunk himself to an early death and so he had never touched a drop of alcohol, for he had never admired his father’s qualities when under its influence. I have seen my uncles and cousins drink at gatherings and grow louder and cruder and insult each other and their wives and then beg mercy the next day, after irrevocable damage has been done.

I was an easy win really; he just had to be small, kind and sober. Simple qualities of most women, except for a few callous gossips, but harder to find in men, at least in those that I had seen paraded before me thus far. Only in my father and brother did I see such a kindness that no matter their size, no matter that just one of their hands around your neck could force the life out of you, you felt you could trust them; I have seen it in so few, it sorrows me. Men are a different breed to me. As a cat to a lion, animals the same in their basic needs and wants, but so different in form, temperament and wildness. The most a cat can do is scratch. A lion can tear you limb from limb.

Each day as Mr Fraser visited, I knew I could bring myself to kiss him, hold him, learn the lines of his body and how to please him. I would learn to love him, bear him children and give him all my attention and care. He proposed to me before he left, and I accepted.

My reminiscence is interrupted by a note from Miss Lister asking to meet again and my heart quickens.

Miss Lister

A letter arrives from Mariana, when really it is a reply from Miss Walker I am hoping for; another note asking me to call on her or to tell me she is coming over to visit. I hope she has received mine.