I have never seen a man’s body unclothed, at least not alive; nor do I wish to. I’m not sure what their down-there is all about. God must have been in a hurry at that part. Sometimes I can appreciate the beauty in their faces and understand why a weaker woman may like a broad-shouldered man, but their hands are rough and ungraceful, their faces sharp with stubble, their hips narrow and bottoms flat. Their ugly Adam’s apples bob up and down as they speak, a reminder of their maleness. Their voices are gruff and they lack softness in any aspect. I better not start on their egos…

Women are the fairer sex and although I am one of them, I believe I stand apart. I have a soft body and breasts and a queer like them, but I also know how to pleasure them more than any man. For men, I learned, can only have pleasure once, then they need to recover. We women are blessed with a never-ending capacity for pleasure, and a variety of it.

Poor fellows. Little do they know what they are missing.

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Summer, 1832: Difficulty in finding
private time to be alone at Shibden

Miss Lister

We continue with our now weekly meetings but unfortunately Marian and my aunt like Miss Walker too, so often it’s a family affair in which even my father joins, so it becomes the four of us Listers with her until I am occasionally able to steal her away just for myself. I encourage Miss Walker to read and learn as I do, but Marian shows keenness and I become a tutor to them both. Even Aunt and Father listen in as they pretend to sew and read the newspaper respectively, as I share my books and notes from the science lectures I attended in Paris.

I am enjoying these visits and family time and do not feel in such a hurry to go travelling again as I had when I first arrived. I wonder if domesticity and family life has me in its clutches already.