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Chapters (22)
  1. The Moss House
  2. Imprint
  3. Chapter One
  4. Chapter Two
  5. Chapter Three
  6. Chapter Four
  7. Chapter Five
  8. Chapter Six
  9. Chapter Seven
  10. Chapter Eight
  11. Chapter Nine
  12. Chapter Ten
  13. Chapter Eleven
  14. Chapter Twelve
  15. Chapter Thirteen
  16. Chapter Fourteen
  17. Chapter Fifteen
  18. Chapter Sixteen
  19. Chapter Seventeen
  20. Chapter Eighteen
  21. Chapter Nineteen
  22. Epilogue

I confess to her my fear of being charged. But how could I have known they would start shooting so soon? They have hanged people for much less, I tell her. The people of Halifax would bay for my blood, I’m sure. They’d bring back the gibbet specially to chop off my head. Who would testify on my behalf in a courtroom? Would they talk about my peculiarities? My fear is that if accused, anyone I’d ever met or who didn’t like the cut of my jib would testify against me and I would not stand a chance. Even if found innocent, the accusation would ruin our family name, end our business, all the tenants would leave us; I would never truly be free again. It all pours out and she takes it in.

Am I glad he’s dead, I wonder privately? Do I fear God’s wrath on the matter? I am not sure He cares. Am I afraid I will be caught now that I have told Miss Walker? I certainly am.

While on the subject of telling the truth, seeing her fearful eyes on me and thinking that she may never speak to me again, I decide to tell her everything, for what have I to lose? If she may marry me and forfeit all others, then she needs to know what she is getting herself in to. I start from the beginning with Eliza. Then tell her, the first person I’ve ever shared it with, about my love for Mariana and how she broke my heart.

Miss Walker

What a pair we make. My perfect Miss Lister has her own secrets which she has revealed at last.

I knew she had other lovers before me. I wish she hadn’t; I wish I had been her first. I had always imagined her so invulnerable, but to hear her speak of Mariana, I could tell her heart had been broken. I feel jealous of Miss Lister’s love for her, but she seems to be reconciled to it now. She seems to have chosen me. How foolish I have been to keep her waiting. No wonder she has been so angry at my asking her to wait.

But to have led someone to their death and not told anyone! I am not as surprised as I should be. I have always slightly feared her. Does this repulse me, or attract me more? Does this make me as wicked? As complicit? Are there any sins left that we are not guilty of? Perhaps I need to steal something too, just to have done, as I’ll end up in Hell regardless.

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Summer, 1833: A year on from the first
kiss at Shibden

Miss Lister

Summer arrives, and I ask her plainly will she marry me? She says not yet, which I take as a no.