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Back The Moss House Save as PDF
Chapters (22)
  1. The Moss House
  2. Imprint
  3. Chapter One
  4. Chapter Two
  5. Chapter Three
  6. Chapter Four
  7. Chapter Five
  8. Chapter Six
  9. Chapter Seven
  10. Chapter Eight
  11. Chapter Nine
  12. Chapter Ten
  13. Chapter Eleven
  14. Chapter Twelve
  15. Chapter Thirteen
  16. Chapter Fourteen
  17. Chapter Fifteen
  18. Chapter Sixteen
  19. Chapter Seventeen
  20. Chapter Eighteen
  21. Chapter Nineteen
  22. Epilogue

I want to fall at her feet, beg her to stay, but I remain dumb. I understand her leaving me, I truly do. It just feels so cruel. But then, it is cruel of me to expect her to stay. A year since she first swept into my life and for a year I have kept her on a thread. Now she takes the scissors and cuts it and I am left, lifeless.

My sister has sent the carriage to collect me. I do not have long before it arrives. How simple it would have been, already packed and dressed, to have climbed into the carriage with Miss Lister instead. To have decided that I would go with her down south and not up to Scotland where my sister waits. I could at any moment have said, let me go with you, and I’m sure she would have accepted. I would now be sitting next to her, my arm in hers, riding southwards on an adventure together. Instead I stand here on the doorstep, alone. Always to be alone. I stand here until the carriage arrives from my sister, not moving, lost in my thoughts. I have missed my opportunity. Again. I have let her drive off without me.

I step up into Sutherland’s empty carriage and am whisked northwards to the cold, to my sister. Yes, I want to see her, but her husband will be there, and they will make me socialise and try to pair me off with someone a long way from home.

The servants probably thought me mad, standing there on the doorstep. I knew I could not go back into the house after she left as I would have run into my room and locked the door and never left. So, I stood there and waited, and eventually boarded this carriage instead. I am a prisoner now, being transported to Scotland as punishment. A prisoner in my own life. A prisoner in my indecision. I think about the joy on my sister’s face, the little ones who will grow to know me and love me as their aunt. I have chosen my family over Miss Lister’s. Youth over age. I just hope I can bring them some happiness.

Farewell Miss Lister. You are better off without me.

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Summer, 1833: A journey in
opposite directions

Miss Lister

At Langton Hall I told him directly, the guilt is not yours alone, it was my fault also. I might as well tell you, for if it should reduce your grief then that will be a good outcome. I’ve carried the grief of it myself and realised it was unfair of me not to tell you. I hope you can forgive me.