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Back The Marriage Trap: A completely addictive psychological thriller Save as PDF
Chapters (60)
  1. Cover
  2. Books by Sheryl Browne
  3. Dedication
  4. KARLA
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-One
  26. Twenty-Two
  27. Twenty-Three
  28. Twenty-Four
  29. Twenty-Five
  30. Twenty-Six
  31. Twenty-Seven
  32. Twenty-Eight
  33. Twenty-Nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-One
  36. Thirty-Two
  37. Thirty-Three
  38. Thirty-Four
  39. Thirty-Five
  40. Thirty-Six
  41. Thirty-Seven
  42. Thirty-Eight
  43. Thirty-Nine
  44. Forty
  45. Forty-One
  46. Forty-Two
  47. Forty-Three
  48. Forty-Four
  49. Forty-Five
  50. Forty-Six
  51. Forty-Seven
  52. Forty-Eight
  53. Epilogue
  54. The Affair
  55. Hear more from Sheryl
  56. Books by Sheryl Browne
  57. A Letter from Sheryl
  58. The Babysitter
  59. The Second Wife
  60. Acknowledgements

Swallowing hard, I go into my office, close the door behind me and lean against it. Is this something that Jason sees in me? This nastiness I didn’t even know I was capable of? Why am I doing it? Lashing out. Hurting people because I’m hurting. My colleagues. My children. Holly, my beautiful baby girl. I’m hurting her. Josh, my puzzled, scrawny, sensitive little boy – he’s hurting. Jason – he’s obviously been hurting for a long time. It has emanated palpably from him at times, when my father has so denigrated him. Yet still, I wouldn’t accept that he wanted nothing to do with him. I bullied him, despite hating that trait in my father. Perhaps the blame for the breakdown of my marriage is all mine? Would anyone want to stay in a relationship where they felt they didn’t have choices? A voice? Jason told me, over and over, he didn’t want to be beholden to my father. I wasn’t listening.

Do I really believe that though? Wasn’t I only trying to find a way that Jason wouldn’t see himself as a failure? To support him? I don’t know. I gulp in a breath, try to suppress the tears, but they come anyway, hot and salty, tears of bewilderment, guilt and grief streaming down my cheeks. I’m sorry. Feeling as if the hard lump in my throat might choke me, I repeat it silently. I’m not even sure who I’m saying sorry to any more. Sarah, the constant reminder of my disloyalty? My children? Jason?

I glance at the ceiling. I don’t think I can bear it. My heart is so raw, I feel as if it’s tearing apart inside me. Everything that was solid in my life, the very ground beneath my feet, is slipping away from me. I’m falling. And there is no one to catch me.

Twenty-Six

DIANA

Recognising the ringtone she’d set to play when Karla called, Diana abandoned her task of cleaning the fridge to take the call. Karla had been in a terrible state after discovering what Jason had been doing in his office, rather than going home to her. Diana was glad she’d been there, babysitting Holly and Josh, when her daughter had arrived back home. She’d been able to persuade her to take a breath and a step back. Screaming at him and demanding explanations, she’d managed to convince her, would only make him defensive, possibly driving something that might actually have no traction.