I can see panic in her eyes. She is rocking her baby almost too much.

‘Give me the baby,’ I say, reaching out for Lily.

All I want to do is make sure she is safe. Heidi is being too rough.

‘Leave me alone,’ she cries out.

And I know she is scared, but if she squeezes Lily any tighter …

‘I just want to make sure she’s safe,’ I say. ‘Please.’

Heidi is shaking her head. ‘No. No. You want to hurt her and you want to take her from me. Everybody always takes everything away from me …’

She’s becoming hysterical. Maybe if I call Alex. He might be able to talk some sense into her. He will be able to calm her down. She’ll listen to him.

I step back, mutter to myself to remember to breathe. That I’m okay. I won’t give in to the panic that is clawing at me, too. My mobile is in my bag, which is hanging at the bottom of the stairs. I know I put Alex’s phone number in it on one of the evenings we were planning how to help Joe. Was it even on the night Joe died? It might have been. That night has become hazy now. I’ve barely slept since and my memories are blurring into one another.

‘Okay,’ I say, my hands shaking, reaching in and pulling out my phone. ‘I know it’s scary, but it doesn’t have to be.’

‘Who are you calling now?’ Heidi asks. ‘Don’t call the police. I told you, it wasn’t me. Don’t call the police.’

I raise a hand to quiet her.

‘Who are you calling?’ she shouts at me.

The call is connecting on the other end. I can hear it ringing. Heidi is crossing the room to me. I will Alex to pick up, sag with relief when I hear his voice.

‘Alex,’ I say, fighting against Heidi’s hand reaching out for the phone. ‘You need to come home, to Joe’s house. You need to come now.’

Heidi is shouting at me, Lily is wailing.

‘What are you doing?’ she’s screaming.

Alex will be panicking. I hear him mutter ‘What’s going on?’, but Heidi is almost on top of me now so I end the call and throw the phone back into my bag.

‘What have you done?’ Heidi wails. ‘You can’t do this.’

‘He’ll understand. Surely, he’ll understand. He loves you. He’d do anything to protect you.’

‘You don’t get it,’ Heidi says. ‘Why don’t you believe me? Why are you doing this, Ciara? Why are you doing your best to point this at me? You’ve done it all along. Making me think I’m losing it. Messing with things. And you’re doing it now. You’re trying to mess with my head to the extent that I will admit to something I didn’t do. Do you think I’m mad? Do you really think I am mad enough that I would do this?’

‘And why don’t you see I’m trying to help?’