I hear Ciara sniff. ‘But she’s not the only one who’s had it tough. It’s almost as if she’s trying to make out I have some sort of vendetta against her. That I’m trying to make her life hard. And I swear to you all, I’m not.

‘She wants everyone to think I did it, I know that. She wants everyone to think I was capable of killing my own father. I think she’s losing the run of herself and is determined to drive us all mad in the process.’

I bristle. I’ve done no such thing. I’ve not tried to heap blame on her at all. If anything, she has been setting me up for a fall. I’m disgusted, angry at the tone in her voice. If I didn’t know categorically that she was lying then I might even be convinced myself. If there was an Oscar for best performance at a family funeral, I was sure she would be a contender. I roll my eyes, anger making me immune to her sniffs and sobs.

But then I hear it. An unmistakably male voice. Alex.

‘I know,’ he says. ‘I’m really starting to worry about her,’ he continues. ‘Only for her granny calling me to say she was okay, I’d have had the police searching for her. I think I need to get her some professional help. Especially given her history.’

My stomach tightens. I haven’t told Alex of my mental health history, which means someone else has. Someone who never really understood it in the first place.

‘That might be a good idea.’ Marie’s voice this time, firm and decisive. ‘And I wouldn’t wait too long. I really don’t think she’s herself and you know, you’d want her to be right in the head if she’s at home with Lily.’

‘She wouldn’t hurt Lily,’ Alex says, but his voice doesn’t sound as confident as I would like.

‘Not normally, no, and I’ve no doubt she’s a great mammy and she loves that baby with all her heart. But she’s been very erratic lately. Not herself. If it were me, and Lily was my baby, I’m not sure I’d want to take the chance. I know I couldn’t live with myself if something awful happened.’

There’s a pause. I start to wonder if she’s done, but then I hear her speak again.

‘You know about the fire, don’t you?’

Chapter Fifty

Heidi

Then

It was Christmas and I was back at Aberfoyle Crescent. I didn’t want to be there, having escaped for the last three months to university in Dublin.

I hadn’t come home at any time in those three months, not even for a weekend. My newly made friends, especially those also from Derry who went home at least once a month and certainly for the Halloween festival, couldn’t really understand my insistence on staying in Dublin.

Our student digs could become quiet at the weekends and on a student income heading out partying wasn’t always within my budget. Not that I was a party girl anyway. Still, I preferred it to travelling up north and spending time with Joe.