Back The Last Chairlift
Chapters (63)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. ACT I EARLY SIGNS
  6. 1. AN UNMADE MOVIE
  7. 2. FIRST LOVE
  8. 3. A FIRST-NAME BASIS
  9. 4. DETERMINED NOT TO LEARN
  10. 5. BUT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN ASPEN?
  11. 6. LITTLE RAY
  12. 7. ALL ABOUT SEX
  13. 8. HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?
  14. 9. MOVIES, GIRLFRIENDS, FOREIGNNESS, OUTLIERS
  15. 10. NOT TARZAN
  16. 11. SMALLNESS AS A BURDEN
  17. 12. INTENDED FOR LITTLE RAY AND ME
  18. 13. THE SNOWSHOER KISS
  19. 14. A JUDGMENT CALL
  20. 15. SEEING THINGS
  21. 16. WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT
  22. 17. SON OF THE BRIDE
  23. 18. WHAT THE STONE SPARROWS SAW
  24. ACT II THE HONEYMOON ON THE CLIFF
  25. 19. “I SAW ME IN YOUR EYES”
  26. 20. A LITTLE BEHIND GIRLS HER AGE, SOCIALLY; DEFINITELY AHEAD OF; DEFINITELY BEHIND
  27. 21. IN CONTROL
  28. 22. MY SECOND-MOST UNMARRIAGEABLE GIRLFRIEND
  29. 23. “ALMOST PERFECT” OR “NO STRINGS ATTACHED”
  30. 24. MELANCHOLIC ENOUGH
  31. 25. THE “POLICE REPORT”
  32. 26. THE GETAWAY DRIVER
  33. 27. SEXUAL POLITICS, A FIRE, JEALOUSY
  34. 28. STILL GROWING
  35. 29. THE GOOD SHEPHERD
  36. ACT III RULES FOR GHOSTS
  37. 30. THE WOMAN WITH THE BABY CARRIAGE
  38. 31. WHERE HAVE THE BANANAS GONE?
  39. 32. A TURN IN THE ROAD
  40. 33. JUST SMALL ENOUGH
  41. 34. OUR MARINE
  42. 35. AT THE WHALE SHIP
  43. 36. BOOK SIGNINGS
  44. 37. THINGS TO DO WITH A PENIS
  45. 38. PLAGUE SONG
  46. 39. WENGEN
  47. 40. THE NIGHT OF THE SANTAS
  48. 41. STARTING SOMETHING
  49. 42. A NORMAL LIFE
  50. 43. A BOHEMIAN LIFESTYLE
  51. 44. MEN WHO SHOULD BE CASTRATED
  52. 45. LOGE PEAK
  53. 46. “FOUND YOU!”
  54. 47. WRITTEN IN THE SNOW
  55. 48. FIVE YEARS, FOUR MOVIES
  56. 49. NOT A GHOST
  57. 50. EM AS ISHMAEL
  58. 51. “O CANADA”
  59. 52. THE LESBIANS’ CHILDREN
  60. 53. THE VOICE ON THE SUBWAY; THE SILENCE IN THE ROCK GARDEN
  61. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  62. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  63. ALSO BY JOHN IRVING

“Look what you’ve done to me, Adam—just see what you’ve done,” Jasmine said. She knelt, beshitted, in my bed.

“Don’t you be goin’ up them attic stairs, Mrs. Brewster,” I heard Dottie saying. “I’m the fix-it person in this house, and this sure as shit sounds like a situation in need of fixin’ to me.”

“This is not the woman I am, Adam—this is entirely your doing,” Jasmine was telling me.

I foresaw what would become the theme of her unceasing phone calls. Jasmine would never completely recover her sense of herself. When a woman of a certain age—and, as Nana had noted, a presumed station in life—shits in bed, and all over herself, this can only be someone else’s doing.

When I heard the familiar creak on the attic stairs, I saw Jasmine flinch. She sprang to her feet, covered with shit, teetering on my bed in anticipation of the next ghostly visitation. All I had time to say was, “Don’t worry—it’s not a ghost.”

It’s not my fault I never knew how Dottie readied herself for bed. Her face cream, thickly applied, was the lifeless color of the moon—it had a wet, otherworldly shine. The halo that encircled Dottie’s face, like a lampshade, was intended (she later told me) to prevent her from rolling over and smearing her face cream on her pillow. What Dottie did to herself, nightly, meant that she slept unmoving on her back. Her halo, her thickly creamed face, and the stark severity of her black bathrobe gave Dottie the appearance of the Angel of Death.

Upon my graduation from Exeter, Elliot Barlow had given me a book of Ingmar Bergman’s screenplays—The Seventh Seal among them, my favorite Bergman film. That was the first screenplay I read. I don’t believe I’ve read a better one. When I saw Dottie step into the path of light, leading from my open bathroom door to the beshitted Jasmine standing on my bed, I thought Dottie was Death—a frightening female version of the moon-faced Bengt Ekerot, the black-cowled, medieval monk who personifies Death in The Seventh Seal. Dottie told me later that I whimpered when I saw her.

If Jasmine could have evacuated more, I’m sure she would have, but Jasmine gave up. Resigned to her fate, she curled into a fetal position in the bed and lay trembling in her terrible waste, waiting for Death—with a Down East accent—to finish her off.

“Holy shit—was it the casserole?” Dottie asked me.

“It was Granddaddy’s ghost, near the end—he was wearing just the diaper,” I told her.