She is at home right now with Killian because he is waiting for the hospice to get to the house so he could come here. My dad wanted to stay with her but she forced him to come today.

"I'm sorry, Landon. I'm so sorry."

I still blame myself for Alexander taking a shot for me.

If I was paying attention, then he wouldn't have died.

My mother and father know that it's not my fault, but I blame myself every day.

"It's okay, momma. I'm here. I will always be here," he whispers in my ear. "I love you, momma."

"I love you, Landon. I always will," I say softly. I let go of him and put a fake smile on. "I think Grandpa is here." I look behind him and see my father's car coming in.

“He is?” Landon turns his head and smiles before running.

I smile while watching him before turning to Alexander's stone.

"Hi," I say while trying not to cry. "I can't believe it's been six years. I feel guilty every day." A tear slips from my eye. "Why'd you leave? Why did you have to take the bullet Alexander? You weren't supposed to save me, Xander. You were supposed to be like everyone else and just let me take it." I turn my head away as more tears start to fall. I bite my lip to hold back the tears, but it doesn't work. "Jane comes over every day to make sure I'm okay but I don't know if I ever will be. It helps that she lives close by. Landon looks just like you and every time I look at him, I feel like breaking down, but he also fills that void of you not being here," I sob. "I lost myself in you and then I lost you."

I feel a hand being placed on my shoulder and all of a sudden, I don't feel alone anymore or feel like my heart turned completely black. It's like a switch in my body flipped and all that darkness and sadness washed away with one single touch only one person could make me feel.

"If only you knew how wrong you are," a familiar voice says, and I feel like I am dying from holding my breath too long. I stand up but don't turn around, still staring at Alexander's grave. "I told you before and I am going to tell you again. I am a selfish motherfucker. I would rather die than live in a world without you, rather than you living in a world without me."

I shake my head as some more tears escape my eyes. "No," I whisper.

"Turn around and look at me, angel."

I nip at my lip and turn only to see Alexander Russo staring back at me.

No.

I don't know what to say.

Was I finally going crazy?

"You can't be here."