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Chapters (61)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. PENGUIN BOOKS
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. The Shipwreck, 1987
  7. Heaven, Really
  8. Flying to Tower Hamlets
  9. The Coroner’s Office
  10. The Burial Ground
  11. Single at Mingles, 1988
  12. Café Italia, Soho
  13. Broadstairs-sur-la-Mer
  14. Clerken-well
  15. Fifty-one Days in Blackheath
  16. London Au Revoir
  17. La France
  18. The Freeway
  19. Hall of Mirrors, Versailles
  20. The Queen of France’s Boudoir
  21. A Caravan in a Country Lane
  22. The Convent
  23. Café des Fantômes, Paris
  24. The Camargue
  25. Morning in a French Lay-by
  26. A Thousand Miles from Home
  27. The Campsite
  28. Summer on the Coast
  29. The Crying Mountain
  30. Seeing Red in Orange Square, Marbella
  31. Rock of Jabal al-Tariq
  32. The Room in Jessie’s Head
  33. Mama Hortense’s Singing Kitchen
  34. Closing Time at Mama’s
  35. The Alps
  36. The Fêted House of Medici, Florence
  37. Continental Shift, Turkey
  38. The Silken Road
  39. Letter from the Court of Jessie at Ölüdeniz
  40. Summer of 1989: Court Budget
  41. Dreams of a Faraway Place
  42. A Trip Down Memory Lane
  43. Old Istanbul
  44. Eighteenth-century Slave Market
  45. In the Sultan’s Seraglio
  46. Life after the Camp Deserter
  47. The Front Line
  48. Güle, Güle, Ölüdeniz
  49. The Ocean Floor
  50. Eastern Anatolia
  51. Slipping into the Middle East
  52. The Supreme Court of ‘Justice’
  53. Antipodean Dreamtime
  54. The Glorious Gulf
  55. Epilogue: Under the Carpet at Windsor
  56. Acknowledgements
  57. Read more
  58. Read more
  59. Read more
  60. Read more
  61. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
S J
old town, narrow streets
boutiques, Arab wall
how I long to be a tourist
my little caravan
now it’s gone, my
summer second to none
Rain
missionary of the skies
cleansed
trauma’s supposed to bond
like cement, not sink
like subsidence
flood – emissary of doom
aftermath, we face
off
Villa Express Letting Agency
‘A lovely flat
overlooking harbour’
I can see clearly
rpt, rpt, rpt
now the rain has …
only £60 a week
he can afford it
(bank statements)
my nest egg
will not be siphoned off
by my credit card
Mr Sugar Daddy
becomes Mr Skin Flint
(you never know people)
and another thing –
when will I see the colour
of your silver?
was always my intention
to supplement
my savings = safety net
400 fucking squid
you’re taking the mickey
Jessie
so let’s get enterprising
make money, move
easterly
oh, sure
summer = bumming
winter = freeloading
who, just who
plucked you
from your sodding hellhole?
manna offered
manacles clamped
manumission sought
I give 100%
nowt to be ashamed
blameless
two interlocking circles =
ideal = 50% =
more than enough
sleep in Matilda
until we get sorted
tired, Stanley, so tired
Viciousness
never knew existed
it’s … exhilarating
Hearts
already got shards
sticking out
face screwed up
like she’s mental
God, I’m evil
where’s my
sweet Stanley
gone?
c’mon, retaliate
usual Amazonian spirit
spear in one hand, tit in other
Scooping
my eyeballs out
but he’s gone so cold
old Governor’s House
arched balconies, shields
everyone’s staring
he’s wearing jeans
not trackies
traitor
two choices –
cuddle in arms?
follow yellow brick road?
he’s striding off
come back, Stanley
come back!
she’s shouting
but my legs
just-keep-on-moving
Penguin walking logo

Rock of Jabal al-Tariq

Sunset had transformed the Strait of Gibraltar into streaks of flowing magenta and fuchsia scarves.

Feeling the last rays of sun penetrate his cream woollen pullover, Stanley peered through a telescope at Morocco’s Atlas Mountains, which lay as misty peaks within his imaginary grasp some ten miles away.

He had arrived in Gibraltar a day earlier, fascinated by the novelty of this limestone rock that adjoined Spain but that was one of Britain’s last remaining colonies. He soon discovered that aside from the sight of red double-decker buses and red phone boxes transplanted on to a distinctly Spanish-looking town, there was little else to interest him.