‘I don’t know where to start.’

For the first time since we met, she is lost for words.

The next morning I hear her singing in the shower, ‘No. No regrets. No …’

The Supreme Court of ‘Justice’

O’DONNELL v WILLIAMS

Jessie O’Donnell – APPLICANT

Stanley Orville Cleve Williams – RESPONDENT

The APPLICANT appeared in person and looked distraught

The RESPONDENT did not bloody bother to appear and was not represented (my fault, like everything else, of course)

Before

LORD ‘JUSTICE’ THE ALMIGHTY

STATEMENT OF APPLICANT

I herewith present a Skeleton Argument in order to set the context for my present predicament.

Did I commit Adultery? Did I commit Bigamy? Did I exhibit Mental Disability? Was I the one guilty of Unreasonable Behaviour? Was I the one guilty of Desertion two times without so much as a Separation Petition?

Instead, was I not Bona Fide at all times, that is, true to myself and therefore to him throughout the period of our Cohabitation? Did I not pay due Care and Attention to the Respondent above the call of duty, and also, did I not share my Chattels, namely my caravan and my motor vehicle, Matilda, who, I might add, if she were a person, could reveal much incriminating Hearsay Evidence of said behaviour of Respondent? Actually, Matilda is De Facto the Matrimonial Home in this case, which I did duly and fully and willingly share with him.

Your Honour, hear my Pleadings, because, although he has Secured Provision with Lump Sum, he has not undergone Due Process, that is, he has jumped to Decree Absolute, thereby conveniently and sneakily overlooking Decree Nisi. He has signed, sealed and delivered the Terms without Negotiation and thereby not allowed me the opportunity of a Final Hearing. Indeed, I am left out of Service. I am left Undefended. I am left with no Relief. I am left with only a Prayer that in the future I exercise Proper Discretion and not be taken in by a coward whose only method of coping with any minor Conflicts of Interest is to execute a Clean Break.

Oh, Lord, what have I done wrong this time! Why am I left alone again! I feel thoroughly Annulled. I feel of diminished Valuation, with no hope of Reconciliation and an Overriding Objective to pursue the inevitable Course of Action: to cry my heart out – until I am Emotionally Bankrupt.

Without prejudice

The APPLICANT

Antipodean Dreamtime

Surfs on Bondi Beach, Sundays, blue boxer shorts

(were always his favourite colour). Handsome fellow.

6 footer. 30 yrs. The wife, Gemma. No, ditch that. Melanie.

Nice girl, sits under an umbrella while the kid builds

sand castles. Lovely lad. Spitting image of Grandma.

His daddy owns a swish health club. No, ditch that.

He’s an investment banker and a popular jazz singer.

Owns a sprawling white villa in Sydney with a garden

pink with bougainvillea (luxury guest cottage out back).

When Melanie asked about the iron-shaped indentation