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Chapters (61)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. PENGUIN BOOKS
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. The Shipwreck, 1987
  7. Heaven, Really
  8. Flying to Tower Hamlets
  9. The Coroner’s Office
  10. The Burial Ground
  11. Single at Mingles, 1988
  12. Café Italia, Soho
  13. Broadstairs-sur-la-Mer
  14. Clerken-well
  15. Fifty-one Days in Blackheath
  16. London Au Revoir
  17. La France
  18. The Freeway
  19. Hall of Mirrors, Versailles
  20. The Queen of France’s Boudoir
  21. A Caravan in a Country Lane
  22. The Convent
  23. Café des Fantômes, Paris
  24. The Camargue
  25. Morning in a French Lay-by
  26. A Thousand Miles from Home
  27. The Campsite
  28. Summer on the Coast
  29. The Crying Mountain
  30. Seeing Red in Orange Square, Marbella
  31. Rock of Jabal al-Tariq
  32. The Room in Jessie’s Head
  33. Mama Hortense’s Singing Kitchen
  34. Closing Time at Mama’s
  35. The Alps
  36. The Fêted House of Medici, Florence
  37. Continental Shift, Turkey
  38. The Silken Road
  39. Letter from the Court of Jessie at Ölüdeniz
  40. Summer of 1989: Court Budget
  41. Dreams of a Faraway Place
  42. A Trip Down Memory Lane
  43. Old Istanbul
  44. Eighteenth-century Slave Market
  45. In the Sultan’s Seraglio
  46. Life after the Camp Deserter
  47. The Front Line
  48. Güle, Güle, Ölüdeniz
  49. The Ocean Floor
  50. Eastern Anatolia
  51. Slipping into the Middle East
  52. The Supreme Court of ‘Justice’
  53. Antipodean Dreamtime
  54. The Glorious Gulf
  55. Epilogue: Under the Carpet at Windsor
  56. Acknowledgements
  57. Read more
  58. Read more
  59. Read more
  60. Read more
  61. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

Jessie wore a low-cut blue chiffon blouse with a sheepskin jacket draped glamorously over her shoulders. On closer observation, its furry collar could be seen to be suffering from alopecia. Hazel-coloured eyes were her most noticeable feature, kohl eyeliner smudged on with casual affectation. They were smoky, vaguely bemused, secretive, and they appeared to look in on themselves rather than pay attention to the world outside, although, as with Marlene Dietrich, the world outside was drawn to look in on them. If her eyes were not those of an innocent, her complexion was the unlined, hazelnut-brown of a woman half her age. Plumptious lips, remnants of maroon lipstick staining the corners, were petulant. Long plait extensions were tied up with a black velvet scrunchie on top of her head and spilled chaotically over Rubenesque shoulders.

While Jessie was fascinated with her own reflection, so too was Stanley, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He thought her extraordinarily dramatic-looking, sexily fleshy, giving as good as she got to the customers at Mingles, which he had found hilarious. She appeared to him now through the mirror as a gorgeous mirage.

His was an archetypal Caribbean face, which others found attractive but at which he could not look without being appalled at how dull it was. A face waiting for someone to move in and mess it up a bit, he thought, not realizing it was already loaded with the cargo of many seafarers. Bright slanting eyes, inherited from some hapless boy who had sailed from the island of Macao to decades of indentured labour on a sugar plantation in the faraway West Indies. A broad, shining forehead was the legacy of an ancestor who had lain in the hold of a galleon that sailed due west, cutting a swath between waves that rose like Turner’s white flames. And the thin mouth of an aristocratic Scottish planter, vulnerable top lip rising like the tip of a wave over his slipstreamed bottom lip, indicating just a hint of self-pity.

Conversation was easy.

‘How could I ever forget sixteen. School trip to Blackpool and that Curtis from the boys’ home. Had my Terry nine months later; he’s in Australia now. When he was younger, I used to slip out to do my turn in a cabaret or pub, sneak back in and there he was, good as gold, still sleeping. Couldn’t do that these days, could you? Get done by Welfare. Got a card from him – Christmas last.’

My darling boy,

you were smitten, once.

Lovely liquid eyes helpless

fixed on mine, until

you fell asleep, smiling,

tiny, podgy feet

wriggling warmly

in my hot palms.

Couldn’t live without me, once.

Penny-for-a-song funds

paying for your all-in-ones,

milk-laden jugs at your lips,

devoted heart ready

to kill anyone who’d harm yer.

Were lost to each other,

me and thee.

Were made for each other,

me and thee,

out of nothings

but an escaped seed

finding its way home.