‘Tell me about him, I mean you,’ Stanley asked Ibrahim.

‘I had been brought in as the Valide’s coffee-maker but soon became her favourite. I was always someone’s favourite. There were two hundred black eunuchs working in the palace who despised this Abyssinian boy who had been left intact. I had to be alert to danger at all times. I am pleased to report that I was never interfered with.’

‘Well, I wish someone would interfere with me,’ Pushkin groaned as he did a backroll on to the cushions, threw his legs into the air, then bounced into an upright sitting position again. ‘Stanley: do you have a woman to call your own? As the Cockneys say, “Me uvver arf”. As the Rastas say, “Mi queen”. As the rappers say, “Ma bitch”. As the sultans say, “My wives, concubines and anyone else I can lay my hands on”.’

‘I suppose I do have one and I suppose she is my girlfriend. Jessie. I left her way down south, where we’re camping.’

‘You lucky thing.’ Pushkin punched his arm. ‘Is she any good?’

‘No, she’s bad, actually.’

‘Huh! The wicked ones are the best. A real bad-ass ho! I am jealous beyond belief.’

‘Don’t be. She’s probably sticking voodoo pins into my effigy as we speak.’

‘Why would she do that? Is she a witch?’

‘She’d like to be. It’s just that I’ve gone walkabout without getting her signed permission. She treats me like a pet dog.’

‘Ah, yes, typical of the conniving sex!’ Ibrahim joined in the conversation with surprising enthusiasm. ‘I had my first wife imprisoned as an adulteress for five years. Do not look so appalled, Stanley. Women were often consigned to convents if they were unmarried or for some other misdemeanour. This one gave birth to a white baby. I found happiness with my second wife. We had eleven children: nine survived and my son Osip was Alexander’s grandfather.’

‘Oh, boring, boring. I’ve heard your stories a thousand times, Grandpa. Now you, Stanley, must not put up with being bossed around by this bad-ass bitch Jessie. Promise me, swear to it.’

‘I swear to it,’ Stanley replied, placing his arm across his chest, knowing he would honour this oath.

Ibrahim continued, ‘It is quite unnerving to come face to face with your childhood self. I can see the boy is unhappy, but I cannot inhabit him.’

‘He reminds me of my younger self,’ Stanley said. ‘Sitting alone, staring into nothingness.’

He saw that Ibrahim understood.