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Chapters (61)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. PENGUIN BOOKS
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. The Shipwreck, 1987
  7. Heaven, Really
  8. Flying to Tower Hamlets
  9. The Coroner’s Office
  10. The Burial Ground
  11. Single at Mingles, 1988
  12. Café Italia, Soho
  13. Broadstairs-sur-la-Mer
  14. Clerken-well
  15. Fifty-one Days in Blackheath
  16. London Au Revoir
  17. La France
  18. The Freeway
  19. Hall of Mirrors, Versailles
  20. The Queen of France’s Boudoir
  21. A Caravan in a Country Lane
  22. The Convent
  23. Café des Fantômes, Paris
  24. The Camargue
  25. Morning in a French Lay-by
  26. A Thousand Miles from Home
  27. The Campsite
  28. Summer on the Coast
  29. The Crying Mountain
  30. Seeing Red in Orange Square, Marbella
  31. Rock of Jabal al-Tariq
  32. The Room in Jessie’s Head
  33. Mama Hortense’s Singing Kitchen
  34. Closing Time at Mama’s
  35. The Alps
  36. The Fêted House of Medici, Florence
  37. Continental Shift, Turkey
  38. The Silken Road
  39. Letter from the Court of Jessie at Ölüdeniz
  40. Summer of 1989: Court Budget
  41. Dreams of a Faraway Place
  42. A Trip Down Memory Lane
  43. Old Istanbul
  44. Eighteenth-century Slave Market
  45. In the Sultan’s Seraglio
  46. Life after the Camp Deserter
  47. The Front Line
  48. Güle, Güle, Ölüdeniz
  49. The Ocean Floor
  50. Eastern Anatolia
  51. Slipping into the Middle East
  52. The Supreme Court of ‘Justice’
  53. Antipodean Dreamtime
  54. The Glorious Gulf
  55. Epilogue: Under the Carpet at Windsor
  56. Acknowledgements
  57. Read more
  58. Read more
  59. Read more
  60. Read more
  61. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘Spare me your self-pity, and let us not compete on the tragedy of childhood because I suspect I will come out as victor. One shoulders it.’ He directed his attention to Stanley and said in a matter-of-fact manner, ‘I was abducted by a French adventurer who was acquiring a host of unusual objects to put in the ageing Louis XIV’s palace of Versailles. Fortunately, fate intervened. I was confiscated by officials in Cairo and sent on to the auction block here, eventually being brought to Tsar Peter by the Russian ambassador.’

‘I spent my childhood in total despair!’ Pushkin shouted out. ‘Total despair! Stanley, do you understand?’

In that moment Stanley saw that the journey from England, with all its characters and happenings, had not only freed him from the bondage of his early years but also opened up the history of his country and continent to him. He rested against the pillar. After skanking so energetically, he was feeling heady. This was the first time he had danced since the Under Sixteens Disco in Tower Hamlets nearly twenty years earlier. It was exhilarating. Why had it taken him so long to get here?

The other two stood watching him, waiting for him to speak.

‘I do understand because I too spent my childhood in total despair.’ He began quietly, expecting what he’d grown used to with Jessie: for such extrovert personalities to butt in and shift the conversation back to themselves. But he felt such total acceptance emanating from his newfound friends that he became more confident, more animated. ‘I was never allowed to play with other children because my father didn’t want me running round the streets and ending up in trouble. He never liked my schoolfriends, so I was never allowed into their houses. I was always alone. I longed for adulthood, but when adulthood came, I didn’t have a clue about what I wanted out of life. The muscle for making my own decisions hadn’t been used, you see. I was just a product of my father’s instruction, an automaton. Now I’m not. Now I’m becoming a … someone.’

‘At least I was lucky to be sent away to the imperial Lyceum, where I could be my own adorable self. I have always been a someone.’

‘A little suffering helped to make you a good writer, Alexander,’ Ibrahim said. ‘Fool not thyself. How many artistes grew up without trouble in their hearts? You should be grateful that it was a tough ride and not an easy one.’

Pushkin put an arm around Stanley’s shoulders. ‘What did I tell you? He’s a hard man, with such backhanded compliments. I was merely good, not great.’