Even as I said that, I was sure that it wouldn’t be enough. Dr. Loving was good at gently poking someone until they cracked open like a piñata—she’d been doing it pretty effectively in our one-on-one sessions and I braced for impact.

“Is there anything new you’ve discovered about yourself? About your ability?”

Those five pairs of eyes somehow stared harder.

“Um, not really,” I admitted. “I mean, I’ve been sleeping a little bit less, which is good. So I guess I have more control? But nothing has really changed.”

“Do you feel like you have more control?” Dr. Loving asked, and I was a little confused. She’d asked that question plenty in our private therapy—where exactly was this getting us?

“Not really,” I answered, the same answer I’ve been giving her this whole time. “I don’t feel that different, to be honest. I’m just … conscious more of the time.”

A few light chuckles came from the rest of the group, but they weren’t laughing at me. It was the kind of dry laugh that you give when you get it.

“Like, if anything,” I continued, “this has just been further proof that I have the least cool ability ever.”

“What are you talking about?” Cat signed, Cam interpreting for her. “You can go into people’s dreams.”

I didn’t need Cam to interpret that emphasis—the movement of Cat’s hands made it clear that she thought my ability was pretty freakin’ cool.

This is what had terrified me about the idea of group therapy. I don’t like people commenting on my life, especially people I don’t know. At least in this case, it seemed to be positive, even if Cat calling my ability cool while she was sitting there in a leather jacket that made her look effortless and amazing made me feel like a huge fraud and disappointment by not actually being cool.

“Yeah, I know,” I said, watching the flurry of Cam’s hands instead of looking at Cat directly in the eye, too intimidated by the fact that she seems to be able to look at someone head-on without flinching, a skill I’ve always wanted but have no idea how to acquire. “But it’s really not that cool. People’s dreams are mostly boring and stressful and besides, it’s not like I’ve been diving much while here.”

“You haven’t?” Sharon asked.