If you had been more awake this summer, or had stayed up to watch over me, you might have become privy to the nearly nightly terrors that jolt me from sleep. You might have watched me twitch and gasp awake, soaked in sweat. As it was, I always tried to make myself presentable before you woke up, hide the sweat and the circles under my eyes, thanking my lucky stars that we never had to share a bed, even though I’d started to

Maybe this is the end of the road for me. There’s so much I’ve done—some you know, most you don’t—that should have been the thing that ended me. But it looks like Caleb did me in. Does he feel bad about beating me half to death? Or is he just happy that his boyfriend is safe?

I wouldn’t have hurt Adam. I really mean that. Wadsworth doesn’t seem to believe me though, and I guess she’s reserved the only living part of her ice-cold heart for her sweet little nephew.

Sleep brings me peace—it’s when I’m awake that I find myself in the nightmare.

09-22-2016, morningwaffles, text post

What do you do when you’ve had a great first date and you were pretty sure there was going to be a second—in fact, there was even a discussion on the first date about a second happening the following week and now that day is tomorrow and you’d talked about maybe seeing a movie so you’ve started looking up show times, but you’re not sure it’s even worth looking into because, despite that first date being really, really good, she hasn’t texted you back in three days and you think you might be getting ghosted? Anyone have any advice?

SEPTEMBER 2?, 2016

I think I just spent two days sleeping. I don’t remember much after … Sunday? Maybe? I know it’s sometime in the middle of the week, I think, but everything has been so hazy. I’ve been awake for a few hours now—have eaten, washed my face because showering felt like too much work—and I already want to go back to sleep. But I promised myself, when I groggily got out of bed at 1 p.m. today, that I would try and write in here before I fell asleep again. That I would try and document everything that’s happened the past few days. And a lot has happened.