“That’s what I’m scared of,” I whispered. “He’s left so much destruction in his path, hurt so many people so many times, and he doesn’t seem to know how to stop and it all started when he was my age.”

“I thought Damien’s ability started when he was way younger,” Aaron said, like that was the important thing.

“But the real trouble—all the really bad stuff he did, or, at least, the first round of really bad stuff, I guess—”

“Yeah, really not thrilled this is the person you’ve been spending most of your time with,” he mumbled.

“That’s when he was my age. And that’s—that’s—”

“That’s not you, Rosie,” Aaron said, finishing my sentence for me. “That’s not you even one bit. From everything I know about him—”

“Everything you’ve read in my thoughts, you mean,” I corrected.

“Can you just—” Aaron sighed. “Can we just agree to go easy on each other? At least for the rest of this conversation? Especially when it comes to our abilities. Because we’ve both fucked up. And we’re going to keep fucking up. I mean, first off, we’re human beings and we’re you and me so … you know…”

“Fuckups.”

“Right.”

“You know that’s not true, right?” I sat up, pulling myself out of the safety of his arms to look at him through my puffy eyes. “You’re not a fuckup. Neither of us are.”

He scoffed. Rude, but … fair.

“I mean, okay, yes, we are,” I conceded. “But not because neither of us went to college or because we don’t know what we’re doing in our careers or because we both have failed to bring home a nice Jewish girl—”

That made him laugh and the sound was like the wind of shimmering light that ran through all the best dreams.

“But we’re not fuckups at our abilities.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, yes, fine.” I groaned. “I’ve fucked up. So much. So, so much.”

A sob started to rise in my throat and Aaron’s arms tightened around me.

“No, you’re right,” he said solemnly. “There’s a difference between making mistakes and being a bad person.”

“And that’s the difference between fucking up and being a fuckup?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. We … we’re learning,” he added after a moment. “That’s the important bit, I think. We just have to keep getting better. We have to try.”

We have to try.

JUNE 2ND, 2017

My eyes feel so dry and puffy, my throat raw, from all the crying I’ve done lately, but finally, today, that outpouring of emotion led to something good.