“Rose,” he said softly, “I know it’s frustrating, dealing with me like this—”

“What?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”

“I’d understand if you were all at the end of your patience,” he said. “I know I am. Not being able to work very much anymore, forgetting conversations we’ve had—”

“Dad, no one is frustrated with you,” I interrupted. “That’s—how could you think that?”

The sadness on his face turned to confusion.

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“What?” My question barely came out, getting caught in my throat in shock.

“I assumed that’s why you weren’t around,” he explained. “You don’t want to watch your old man fade away.”

“Dad, don’t talk like that,” I pleaded. “You’re not fading away. I know that you sometimes forget where your book is or why you went into a room, but that happens to all of us sometimes!”

I was trying to make it sound like no big deal at all, like it was the most casual problem in the world, but I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. Why do I always cry right when I don’t want to?

“I know it’s going to get worse,” I continued, gritting the words out and quickly moving on to the next thought, “but you’re not—I mean, you’re doing great. And we’re going to be here whatever happens. If it gets worse, then we’ll be here. And it won’t be frustrating for us.”

“If it gets worse?” he asked, his face completely collapsed. “Rose, it already has.”

I wanted to ask what he meant but I couldn’t get the words out. How much had I missed?

“You’ve slept through a lot of things, Rose,” he said, answering the question I was too afraid to ask.

A tear escaped my eye, rolling down my cheek. I didn’t want to wipe it away, didn’t want to bring attention to it, but I didn’t think there was any way my dad didn’t notice. But he didn’t make any moves to comfort me, to bring me into a hug like he would have normally. Instead he just said:

“Please go to the AM, Rose. For me.”

And he grabbed his coffee cup and walked out of the kitchen.

I should have told him yes, okay, fine, I’ll do whatever will make him happy, whatever will make him smile and tease me again. I should have immediately apologized for yelling. I should have told him I love him.