‘Hashtag Marriage,’ Beth says, breaking the camel’s back and causing us all to lose ourselves in fits of insuppressible laughter. I struggle to catch my breath, wondering if my tiny frame can even sustain this level of hilarity. It’s been forever since it had to try. I hold onto a chair for support. Beth is wiping tears from her cheeks as she tries to level her breath. Lauren is slumped onto a chair, her hands on her belly, guffawing like the exact opposite to how a jilted bride should be feeling. I sense relief from her. Maybe even some hope in the solidarity of her new friends. I have to say, I feel that too.

‘OK, come on. Just a few more pictures. I want to make sure I have what I need,’ I say, urging my models back into position. Soon enough, I’m ready.

Beth

There was something I envied about Lauren today. Reclaiming her power. Not accepting the position Gavin had put her in. Doing what she could to put herself on top. I know there is a large question mark as to whether what we did today was OK or not. But Ruby was right, we haven’t lied, we only created a visual of the truth that all we know is real.

The truth is what I have to deal with in my own life. The truth about what I did, and why I did it. A lot has become clear to me over the past week. Understanding things about myself, and the way that people behave when they are not happy. To say the words may be hard but living with them trapped inside of you is worse. I don’t want to be trapped. I don’t want Tommy to be raised by a domestically frustrated woman. I don’t love my husband anymore. That isn’t my fault. That is my truth. It’s time I dealt with it.

When I get home, Michael is watching TV. Since he went back to work he has given up with the cooking. It’s down to me again to make sure the fridge is full, and the meals are prepared. That Tommy is taken care of. That the household runs smoothly.

‘I’m going to bath Tommy and get him down,’ I tell him. He gets up and takes Tommy from me, cuddling him and kissing him.

‘Hey little man,’ he says. I know he misses him now he’s back at work. Maybe now he will understand how hard it was for me for the past few months. I take Tommy upstairs. I bathe him. I feed him. I kiss him and I tell him, no matter what happens, he will always be loved by both of us. I put him into his bed, and I prepare myself for the things I have to say.