‘I can’t pretend that is me. I’m sitting in front of you, you can see the truth. I’m sorry, I know you have photos of yourself manipulated, and I know I’m the one who does it, but I can’t do it to myself, I’m sorry.’

I get up and leave the room. I am aware she must feel uncomfortable so I am as quick as I can be. I come back in holding the shoe box.

‘These are the originals.’ I sit next to Lauren and open the box of photos for the first time in years. ‘Look, this is what I actually looked like. Pale, gaunt, too thin, too …’

‘Ruby, stop. You look beautiful. Look at you there, look how happy you look,’ she says, picking up a photo of me taken as I walked into the wedding breakfast, holding Liam’s hand. I am smiling from ear to ear, Liam too. If you focus on my happiness, you really don’t notice my body.

‘Who is this?’ Lauren says, picking up a picture of my mother and me. She is in a wheelchair, wearing a black dress. I am standing next to her. I have managed to create a pained smile, my mother is looking off camera. The photo speaks volumes and about how I was feeling. Agonised. Hateful.

‘It’s my mother,’ I tell Lauren. She looks at the photo for a while.

‘You don’t look like her,’ Lauren says.

‘Thank goodness,’ I say.

‘Yeah, she’s a real minger.’

‘Yeah, she really is,’ I laugh. I haven’t heard the word ‘minger’ since I was called it in school. I put all the photos back in the box and put the lid on.

‘You don’t need to do anything to those photos, Ruby, they’re perfect as they are. They are your truth.’

‘I could say the same about you,’ I say. She smiles and nods, as if accepting my words.

‘So have you spoken to Gavin?’ I ask.

‘No, not personally. Our, I mean, his PR wrote to me asking me to do a post. Threatening me, saying if I didn’t say something myself, she would be forced to write a quote for me. Apparently, Gavin said he’d pay me three million if I said the reason for the wedding not going ahead was because I backed out due to my own “problems”. She said they didn’t mind what I said my problems were. I ignored her, the bitch. He can think again if I’m going to get paid off to save his reputation.’

‘Good for you.’