‘Lauren, come on, seriously, there are other ways to cope. You don’t need to have your mother in your life. You can just detach from her, not let her hurt you anymore. You don’t have to do this to yourself.’

She realises I am not leaving and wipes her hand across the table, guiding the pills back into the bottle. She heads towards the bathroom; if she shuts and locks that door there will be nothing I can do.

‘Wait,’ I call, but she is walking towards her death and I’m not sure what to say to stop her. ‘Wait,’ I say again, scrambling to find my zip and yanking it down. As I run to the bathroom door and block it, my dress falls to the ground. My body is exposed, just my underwear is left. Other than my heavy breath creating a ripple down my body, everything is still.

‘You’re …’ she can’t find the words. ‘You’re …’

‘I’m disgusting.’

‘No, you’re …’ She still doesn’t know what to say.

‘It’s OK, you don’t need to say anything,’ I say, not looking at her. Just letting her take me in, until I know she understands. ‘We can all find a reason to hate ourselves, OK? We can’t just pop some pills to deal with it.’

The bedroom door bursts open. Lauren drops the pills, the contents of the bottle spilling all over the floor.

‘What the fuck!’ screams Rebecca when she sees me. I try to cover myself but it’s pointless. I reach down for my dress but my trembling hands can hardly cope. I get all caught up in it. I can’t do it. Where is the zip? I need Rebecca to get out.

Two more women burst in. I try to escape into the bathroom but I trip over my dress and fall. Naked on the floor, I feel like a wild animal trapped in someone’s house.

‘Please, shut the door,’ I plead, trying to pull my dress over me to cover my hideous body.

‘What the actual hell is happening?’ Rebecca asks, with her usual lack of grace. The other two women seem relieved to have found Lauren. The youngest woman goes straight over to her and hugs her, politely ignoring me.

‘Thank God we found you,’ she says before noticing the pills on the floor. ‘Wait, were you …?’ she begins, but clearly unable to find the words to ask if Lauren was about to kill herself. While the focus isn’t on me, I get to my feet and pull my dress up.

‘Seriously, what is going on?’ continues Rebecca, so confused. ‘Why are you in here, Lauren? Ruby, why were you standing in front of her naked? I’m sorry Lauren, I take full responsibility for Ruby’s behaviour and will send her home immedi—’