In the marquee, one of the waiting staff has knocked over a perfectly compiled pyramid of coupé champagne glasses. She is sobbing in a chair with around three other members of staff trying to calm her down.

‘It’s OK,’ I tell her. ‘Why don’t you go to the staff area and have a cup of tea? I’ll have someone deal with this.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘I’m having a terrible time at the moment, I’m not quite myself.’

‘Go to the staff tent and get yourself together, I need everyone to forget their problems today, and just get through it. You’re not in trouble, OK?’

She nods and hurries away. All feelings must be cast aside today. The only emotion I want to see is pure joy from the wedding party. Everyone else, me included, needs to just deal.

Every time I think about Michael I want to throw up in a flower arrangement. I keep trying not to think about Tommy, because when I do I become riddled with a guilt that makes it impossible for me to even pretend to want to celebrate the concept of love today. I just have to get through this wedding, then I can work on the state of my own marriage.

I’m walking towards the groom’s quarters to find Risky, when she suddenly appears in front of me, running and crying. My first thought is that she has been attacked.

‘Risky, Risky, what happened?’ I ask, running towards her. ‘Are you OK? Did someone hurt you?’

She can barely catch a breath.

‘Risky, pull yourself together. What happened? Was it Adam? Did he upset you?’

‘No. No. No … It’s Gavin, he’s …’

‘He’s what? What is Gavin doing?’

‘I can’t. Boss, no. I need to unsee it. This can’t be happening, I just can’t take it.’ She is hysterical. I put a hand on each shoulder and tell her to breathe.

‘Risky, calm, calm, calm. OK, what did you see?’

‘Gavin.’

‘Yes, I gathered that. What is Gavin doing?’

‘I can’t say it. I can’t. That room down the corridor, the third on the right. Go look.’ I start to make my way down there, terrified of what I might see, Risky following close behind. I’m thinking the absolute worst. ‘Quietly boss, be really, really quiet.’

I approach the door nervously and push it open. ‘Holy shit!’ I say, shutting the door quickly but quietly. ‘Oh my GOD.’ There is always a last-minute drama, but this takes it to a whole new level.

‘Did you see?’ Risky says, catching a breath at last.

‘Yes. Yes I did.’ I am now becoming hysterical myself.

I take some long slow breaths.