‘Lovely, isn’t it. OK, the Wifi code is on that pad over there. Here’s the first card with photos of the venue and Lauren and her mum. If you could find one of the champagne that would be great, just make sure the colours pop. And can we just do a few test shots? My flash has been playing up and I need to just check the exposure.’

‘Um, OK,’ I say. ‘Snap away and I’ll have a look at them on my computer.’

‘OK, thanks. If you stand by the window that would be good. The back light is what’s worrying me.’

I walk over to the window slowly, unsure why it matters where I stand. She raises the camera to her eye and points it at me, I quickly dart to the other side of the bed.

‘No, no, sorry. I don’t want to be in any photos if that’s alright.’

‘No one will see them, it’s just so I can check stuff.’

‘No. Sorry, I really don’t want to be in any pictures.’

Rebecca looks annoyed. Tough shit. Nowhere in my contract does it state I have to be in any photographs. I don’t want to do it, she’ll have to find someone else.

‘OK. Then can you take the photo? I like to test with people in the shot. Would you at least do that?’ she asks, sarcastically. As if I have just personally offended her. I tell her I will of course take some photos. She goes to the window and poses awkwardly. I take a few pictures. She checks them on the camera, then asks me to take some more. She leans against a chair, sits on the bed. It is a very strange five minutes as we barely say a word; she really isn’t very easy to get along with. She takes her camera, checks the photos, makes a few adjustments and finally seems happy.

‘Are we done?’ I ask, wanting her to get out so I can enjoy my room.

‘If you need anything, there will be staff catering happening in about five minutes in a staff tent downstairs. Maybe you could grab something and bring it back up? The guests arrive at two so Lauren will be right in the throes of getting ready then, and I want to get the images to her quickly.’

‘OK, thank you,’ I say, wondering if she will leave now.

‘Great, well, you have my number if you need me. I’ll keep popping back with the cards, and I guess we just get on with it?’

‘Great,’ I say, opening the door to encourage her exit. I want to swan around this room and pretend it’s in my house. She hovers by the door. ‘Was there something else?’

‘I’d really appreciate you getting going, please don’t treat today like a spa break.’