‘Ruby,’ calls Rebecca, coming up behind me. She is wearing red trousers and a cream blouse. Her brown curly hair is tied up untidily, and she has accessorised with large, fashionable earrings. She has a simple lick of mascara on, rosy cheeks and a solid red lip. She knows how to make casual look good. Well you would, when you spend your life surrounded by magazine people and photographing models. The trousers are a little controversial for a wedding, but I suppose they offer her a little more flexibility as she will be moving around a lot, squeezing into small spaces, and doing what she can to get the perfect photo. She’s not a small woman. Tall, with solid thighs. I haven’t seen her for a number of years and there is definitely a little more weight around her middle. The mole on her face is as prevalent as it ever was and the first thing you notice, even when you know it is there.

Her unpleasant aura is still as powerful. We don’t bother with pleasantries that go beyond a simple ‘hello’. As always she gets out of conversation by implying how busy she is with various comments and gestures. She does, however, look me up and down without complimenting my dress, which obviously means she hates it.

‘OK, follow me and I’ll show you your room,’ she says, leading the way. She looks around, seeming a bit on edge.

‘Are you looking for someone?’ I ask her.

‘Nope. Just checking out locations for possible photos.’

She’s like a sniffer dog, always on the job.

‘Thanks for coming early. Lauren wants a lot of getting-ready photos. Everything from her bath, to putting her underwear on. She wants to approve each shot and that will mean giving her a few options so we will have to work quickly if we’re going to make these posts feel live. You OK with that?’

‘Well I don’t have anything else to do today, so I’m sure it won’t be a problem.’

‘OK, Lauren is in there.’ She points at a door off a long corridor. I am curious to see Lauren in real life. Whatever real life is, to someone like her. I’ve erased her flaws in picture form, I now want to see them in the flesh. I’ve built quite the dislike for this woman, and she’s done that all by herself with her Photoshop requests and ludicrous Instagram feed, yet still I am met with a small thrill at the thought of seeing a major celebrity move and breathe. This day is actually quite exciting. I am pleased I took the time to make a good dress.