I have met a most helpful man, a Herr Gunther, who is a big name in the fur trade here. He is helping me to correspond with the British authorities regarding my own business and my plan to get the rest of my family here. He has even gone so far as to offer financial help and has given assurances as to our family’s good reputation. But there are so many needy cases. Thousands and thousands apply every week and so far the British government has said they cannot take any more refugees.

But I’ve heard rumours that the British are offering sanctuary to Jewish children until they can rejoin their parents at a later date, in Palestine or Germany. My grandmother, mother, aunt and her three children are living in the Jewish house on Humboldstrasse now. They share one room. I wonder if the children might qualify to come here? They are fifteen, twelve and eight. I believe the upper age limit for this Kindertransport to England is fourteen. Perhaps just the younger two might come? How hateful it is to split our family up in this way, but I wonder, darling Hetty, whether you might make any enquiries your end?

I suppose you are wondering how it is with Anna. I can only be honest with you: it is awkward, painfully uncomfortable. When we are alone, I really have no idea what to say to her. She keeps saying it is because I have been through so much, and it is fine. But really, it isn’t. How can I tell her that I’ve given my heart to you? I can’t, of course, so I say nothing instead. She is gentle and sweet-natured and I cannot be unkind. In fact, I feel guilty, because I don’t know that I can be the husband she deserves. I also feel like an actor in a bizarre play which will never end. I try to always keep busy because the worst time is when I’m alone, at night, and my mind wanders freely. That is when the pain is at its most unbearable and I’m not sure I can keep on living.

I didn’t know whether to tell you, but I don’t want to keep secrets, my darling. So, with heavy heart I must tell you that the date for the wedding is set for the fifteenth of March. I know how much this will pain you, but please do try to be happy, my love. I do so want for you to be happy. You’ve done so much for me, completely unselfishly. You should seek happiness with another. And for this reason, I wonder if it would be for the best for you, and least dangerous, that, as we discussed, we don’t stay in contact?

Tell me what you think, my love. I long to hear your news. I must ask you to write to the post office address I enclose here. Anna doesn’t yet know about you. I will tell her, but not yet. It hurts too much for now. Use the post office address also if there is ever an emergency. Hopefully there won’t be a need for it, but in case you hear any news of my family you need to relay, then do use it.