Erna squeezes me tight. She lets go and walks to the window, staring out at the falling spring rain. I lie back against the pillow, resting my head on the headboard. My belly, firm and round as a small melon, protrudes beneath my dress.

She turns to me. ‘You have to tell Walter. If you’d told him earlier, before—’

‘Before he got married? How would that have helped? It would have ruined his life as well as mine. I’m not doing that to him, Erna. He’s no good to me here, and if he can’t stay in England because of this, I would be no good to him either. I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going to destroy his chance of a good life.’

‘Christ, Hetty, that’s all very noble, but he has a right to know. It’s his child too.’

‘I can’t tell him. It would ruin everything.’

‘Shouldn’t you let him decide? Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as you think. Perhaps you would be able to go to England too.’

‘And what then? The three of us could live together in perfect harmony? Walter and his two wives? He is living with her family and is totally reliant on their support to remain in England. You’re being ridiculous.’

‘But he’s there. Maybe the English will let his child join him, and as the mother of his child, you would be able to go too, maybe not right away but—’

‘Stop it, Erna! It’s never going to work. I can’t go to England, even if he wanted me to. What would I do there? All I can do, is try to find a way to save this baby from whatever fate Tomas has in store. I’ve only got a few months to find a solution. Please help me to think.’

‘What about Walter’s mother? His aunt? Couldn’t they take it in?’

‘I thought of that too, but how could I dump a baby on them? They have nothing. They’ve been forced to live in that Jewish House on Humboldstrasse. I couldn’t send my baby to live in such a terrible place. The men remain in Buchenwald, assuming they’re even still alive. I would be consigning it, to what fate? Besides, why would they ever want to help me?’

‘And what about you?’

‘I will just have to marry Tomas. I don’t see I have a choice. Perhaps, if he has me, he will change his mind about the baby.’

The look on her face confirms what I already know.

That this baby, with the blood of a Jew coursing through its veins, is condemned before it has even been born.

10 May 1939