‘You would do that? For me? Surely this could put you all in danger?’

She laughs at my expression. ‘I hope you finally understand how much you mean to me, Hett,’ she says. ‘Besides, we want to do something. It feels good to be helping. There is nothing worse than sitting back and being helpless when faced with something so huge you can’t fight it. What’s happening is against everything we hold dear. Even if we only do something small, help just one person… Well that’s defiance, isn’t it? And that’s worth it. Just in itself.’

I look at my dear friend in awe. She has been so kind, so brave and so forgiving. She could easily have turned her back. ‘Oh, Erna, how can I ever thank you?’

‘There’s no need.’

I bite my fingernails. ‘I don’t know how to get out of going to Berlin.’

Erna fixes me with her bright green eyes.

‘You have to get your mother on your side. You’ll work it out. But, right now, we need to send a telegram to Walter and let him know your decision.’

31 May 1939

In the quiet of the early morning, I pull out the letter Erna handed over to me yesterday. I reread the words, over and over.

My dearest Hetty,

It is once again in a turmoil of emotion that I find myself writing. I’m relieved, terrified, devastated and filled with overwhelming love at your decision to send our baby to England. I dare to hope that one day you will be able to follow and that this will somehow turn out to be for the best, and we will all be reunited.

Erna also tells me that you are married to Tomas. In all honesty, I have struggled to come to terms with this. My reaction was utter disbelief, but she swore this was what you wanted, and that Tomas has been very good to you. If this is true, then I will try my best to be happy for you. But this cannot be the truth. I find it strange, to say the least, that Tomas should take a wife already expecting another man’s child. I also believe I know you well enough to know this can’t be what you really want. I suspect that you, like me, have been swept along by events over which you have no control. I suppose we are neither of us in this situation of our own choosing.

I also want you to know that Anna is a good, forgiving person and I know, without any hesitation, that she will treat our baby with love and tenderness. Were things different, I feel certain the two of you would easily become the best of friends. Know only this, my dearest love, I will never stop loving you, from this day until my very last.

Yours,

Walter.

*

Tomas and Vati are eating breakfast and reading the morning papers when I come into the dining room. Mutti has not yet appeared. It still gives me a jolt to see Tomas sat in Karl’s chair at the table.