“I don’t hate you.” I could never hate Neil.

I stand up and walk toward him.

He gives me a worried stare. “What?”

I don’t know how I look, but I do know what I want.

I want silence. I want to escape.

I want Neil.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I grab him by the shoulders and pull him to me. I kiss him. And keep kissing. There’s a hunger inside me. I wipe my mind clear of anything but Neil. All I want is to feel his lips on mine. How his hand tightens around my waist, protecting me.

I pull him in closer so there isn’t a millimeter between us. We are pressed against each other, our limbs entwined, our mouths connected. I don’t even need to breathe, all I want is—

He pulls away abruptly. “Are you okay?”

Everything I’ve been pushing down comes flooding back. I grab my head, wanting it to all go away. “I was.”

“I don’t—I mean—I just,” he stutters. “Don’t get me wrong, that is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me, but I want to be sure it’s something you want and you’re not …”

He doesn’t finish his thought because we both know what he’s about to say. And we both know he’s right.

He takes a step toward me, but I take a step away.

“Ally?” The look on his face is a mixture of confusion and pity.

I don’t want to look at it anymore. I don’t want to be reminded of what got us to this awkward place. It makes all the memories of the past twenty hours come crashing down all around me.

I don’t say anything. I simply turn and walk away. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. First to Dad, now to Neil. I take the stairs two at a time and lock myself in Susan’s room. I fall onto the bed and put a pillow over my head.

Wishing, praying that all the screaming and confusion swirling around my mind will silence.

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter

NINETEEN

It doesn’t.

Chapter Twenty

Chapter

TWENTY

I finally slept.

And slept. And then slept some more.

My body shut down and gave me hours of some peace.

I spent all of Sunday in bed. Anytime the bedroom door opened, I pretended to be asleep. There was food placed on the nightstand. It remained untouched.

I didn’t have the energy to talk to anybody. I was tired. I was embarrassed. Two members of the Gleason family have seen me at my worst. First Sheriff Gleason with my total breakdown and then Neil with my … whatever that was. I basically attacked the poor guy.