“I’m going to die from embarrassment,” Neil says between his fingers, which are currently hiding his face. “But she means well, I guess.” Neil moves his head around as if he’s trying to place Paula. “She’s a bit awkward.”

“We just don’t know what to do with each other,” I admit. “But, you know,” I say as I slide closer to him, “I don’t want to talk about Paula anymore.”

“But whatever should we do?” He taps his finger on his chin. “Hmmm.”

“Just shut up and get over here.”

I didn’t need to tell him twice.

The days in Tampa pre–Neil and Marian dragged and dragged. With them, the time has flown by. The days of fun and feeling like myself are over.

I’d already cried saying goodbye to Baxter, tucking him into his crate for the flight back to Wisconsin. Paula was adamant that he couldn’t stay. Now I can’t even look at Marian and Neil as we stand outside the security checkpoint at the airport with Paula hovering in the background.

Marian’s wearing her Mickey Mouse ears we got at Disney. Tears are running down her face, too. “I knew this was going to be hard. Maybe I can come for MLK weekend or something.”

I hug her for the fortieth time in the past ten minutes. “Thank you for coming. I desperately needed this.”

She steps away and Neil comes forward. He gives me a kiss on the cheek since Paula’s watching. We had our proper goodbye before we got in the car, and there wasn’t anything proper about it. “Hang in there,” he says in a low voice. His hand is on my back, and my entire body burns from it. “It sucks to say goodbye, but remember, this isn’t for forever.”

That thought alone is what’s going to keep me going until I can find myself in his arms again.

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter

FORTY-ONE

I had a moment of happiness. A glimmer into my old life.

Then everything came crashing back around me.

As the TV counted down to the new year, I felt dread, not hope. When I used to look to the year ahead, my mind would be filled with positive thoughts. Not anymore.