“Not like you and me,” he states with an aggressive edge to his voice that I don’t recognize.

“I didn’t mean …”

He holds his hand up. “Listen, you’ve been driving yourself senseless with applications and scholarships. Why don’t you wait until you see if you even get accepted?”

I suck in a breath. Dad doesn’t think I can get into college? It takes him a few seconds to realize what a slap that comment is to me.

“Ally Bean …” He comes over to where I’m standing and reaches his hand out to me. “Of course you’re going to get in. Of course you will get scholarships. We will make this work, but dredging up the past isn’t going to help either of us. Especially me.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice barely audible.

In the background, the second half begins.

“I know, sweetheart. Listen, I’m going to take Baxter for a walk. Be right back.”

Baxter, who usually jumps up anytime Dad grabs his leash, stares blankly at him like it’s a cruel joke. Dad never leaves the house when a Packers game is on.

“Come on,” Dad says roughly to Baxter.

Baxter gets up and cautiously approaches Dad without a wag in his tail. He lets out a whimper as Dad grabs his collar too abruptly.

“Be careful,” I say before he slams the front door behind him.

How could he get so short with me for asking some basic questions about my own mother? The person with whom I share half my genetic makeup. I feel an ache inside me that I’ve never experienced before.

As the Packers take the field, I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like cheering. I don’t feel like watching the second half and eating brats like everything is normal.

Dad keeps talking about lasts with me: last birthday or Homecoming.

But this was a first. Not simply Dad walking out of the house in the middle of a football game, but him seeming truly upset with me.

I hate doing that to him, but I deserve to understand my past. To know who I am and where I come from.

Because how can I go anywhere if I don’t know where I’ve been?

Chapter Six

Chapter

SIX

I kept imaging that this week had the potential to be pretty awesome. I thought I’d done everything right: studied, volunteered, joined school activities, and studied some more. It was all supposed to fall into place, but then everything came apart once I woke up.

“Hey!”

I jump at the sound of Neil’s voice greeting me in the morning. Oh, right. And to make matters worse, Neil may be asking someone out … someone who isn’t me.

“Hey, hey!” He holds up his hands as he approaches our front door with caution. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I lie, feeling foolish at my reaction.